I have wanted to write on this blog since Sarah created this. (This is Parker, not Abigail...yet. Although she did send a text somehow the other day). Frankly, I haven't slowed down long enough to share my thoughts. This blog may prove therapeutic for me. An outlet of sorts. You may not know I spend most of my day thinking quietly to myself. My profession requires me to think of man's law, and my mind often thinks deeply towards my Father and life as His son. I don't regularly share my thoughts, so writing will serve a purpose for me.
Now let me lay few ground rules for you to keep in mind if you intend on journeying into my inner thoughts. One, I reserve the right to make more rules. Two, if I sound like I am teaching sometimes, the truth is I am teaching myself. If I can get my thoughts organized enough to write, I will listen to myself...usually. Three, most days I spend drafting well thought out language with correct grammar, spelling, and convincing arguments, which now actually brings me to the rule. I will not try to have perfect grammar, spelling, and especially convincing arguments. I value your opinion and I hope you value mine. If we agree, then I am thankful for that common ground. If we don't, then I am thankful for your point of view as I know I am just one person with one point of view and set of experiences. Four, my thoughts are just that, thoughts, not necessarily my life's statement (although that may emerge, eventually). Because I think about life and the Lord and write about Him doesn't mean I am fully correct, nor does it mean that I am stuck in my thoughts. I have been wrong about my perception of people, the Lord, and myself more times than I can count, a trend I am sure will continue, however, (I am sure this is a run on sentence, but I am not thinking about that, see Rule 3) I have learned that I don't have to be right. In fact, I've made it a goal of sorts to not have to be correct, but be willing. Willing to learn, willing to admit I don't know very much and don't understand much either. This may sound self defeating, but its really not. Have you ever stood at the top of a mountain or been in a boat in the middle of the ocean in a storm? You come to realize you may not be as big or smart as you'd led on to yourself or others. But that brings me to the whole reason I wanted to write today.
I had much to do today at work. I had many plans. As I am sure you all did (assuming at least one person other than my wife reads this). Maybe I should say, I am sure you did. Well whatever, anyway, like most days this week, we found our plans are not going to be accomplished as we had planned. Most of us are at home, transferring our energy from work at an office or job site, to a vacuum or sponge. All good things, but there's something else I am doing instead, being still.
I found myself playing with my 13 month old ball of joy, Abigail. We thought she should see the snow too, so we open the back door and she did a curious thing. She was still. She just looked at the snow covered ground and was mesmerized. (she eventually tried to eat it, but that's another post, another day). I thought she'd immediately jump and roll, but she was still.
Being a father, I am very interested for a number of reasons in what Abigail does. One reason is that Jesus encourages His listeners to have faith like a child. Therefore, I am studying my daughter so that I can learn again how to have faith like a child. So as she is still watching the snow fall and as the busy city is abnormally quiet, I remember the scriptures also say to be still. In fact Psalm 46:10 says more. It says: "Be still, and know that I am God." It connects being still and knowing that He is God. Interesting. I have read that verse many times, but never thought about the fact it may be hard to have one without the other.
My plan today was to drink coffee, rush to work and go, go, go on my to do list. Well that wasn't the plan that the Maker of the snowflakes had for me. So, today I am still. And now that I am still, I am reminded the Creator is also God. As I have mediated on this near order to be still and know He is God, I find my heart and mind slow down too. Much like Abigail's busy body stopped when we set her down and opened the door to look at the snow. Funny how seeing things bigger than ourselves, even at a young age, causes us to be still.
I know why I am not still as much as I want to be which is another post, but I will say this to our dedicated two followers, I am going to work towards stillness, regularly. Not as some religious to do, but for me. Because, when I am still, I am reminded He is God. My next logical thought after knowing He is God, is that I am not. What a relief too. I can barely balance being a husband, daddy, son, friend, professional, etc. He is that and much more for the billions.
On a personal level though it's comforting that He is my God. He is the one who protects my business when my to do list doesn't get done fast enough. He is the one who watches over my family when they are sick. He is the one that protects me from harm. He is the one who holds it all together. My mind likes to fight that truth with a lot of "buts" as I like to think I have a part in holding it together, however the truth is I just participate as He leads me. He gives me the opportunity to participate, something much different than holding it all together.
So thankfully, today He led me to be still. My being still gave me peace because I know He is God. Because I know He is God, I can be still. I pray the same for you today. Let's take a lesson from Abigail. Let's be still as we look upon something bigger than ourselves.
