feeling sorry for myself

3 of the 4 of us have been bitten by the flu bug...ugh.

thankfully tiny Bethany is still in the clear.

I thought I would miss it too, but woke up this morning with high fever

and can hardly move my body hurts so bad.

I'm also struggling to give myself some grace for having yet another unproductive TV-watching day as we all recoup. Im telling myself its ok,

that Abigail (hopefully) wont remember these sick days

that I couldn't play with her much.

I know, I know, Im feeling sorry for myself.

Thanks for listening.

This made me feel better though...hoping it will make you smile today too!

(Abigail thought her baby sister needed some beads)

Have a great Sunday,

and I pray that sickness stays far away from you and yours!

love yall.

God has done a Miracle...update on my Dad

Update on my Dad...

Dad finally slept for about 15 hours today.

During this time, the neurologist came in and explained things again.

He said that the plan was to take him of all his parkinsons and dementia meds and introduce them back slowly after he wakes up.

He told us that something got things all out of whack,

probably a sudden progression in his brain of dementia or of PD.

I asked him if we could expect Dad to return to his normal self after all this...

his answer was no.

He said he MAY be a high percentage of himself, but not like he was.

He told me to expect this to be a long road, and that it would be a while, if at all, that Dad would be able to communicate like normal with us.

We had hope, but still fear of what to expect ahead.

BUT GOD HAD A DIFFERENT PLAN!!

My mom stepped out for a minute this afternoon, and when she walked back in the room, Dad was sitting up and asked for some water!

He carried on conversation just as clear as ever.

He talked about the Mavs, the Aggies (of course) and even asked if Abigail could come visit.

He was talking just like normal, just like my Dad.

TRULY a miracle after the incoherent jibberish the last 3 days, and after the dr's prediction.

We are stunned, the medical team is stunned.

But God is not.

He is SO good!!

Dad is still very weak physically and will begin some physical and occupational therapies in the next few days. According to the dr today, he will probably go to an inpatient rehab for a little bit just to regain strength and agility. Not sure when all this will take place but hopefully by the end of the week.

Dad doesn't remember much of the last few days, which is a blessing in itself.

Still probably best to not have visitors while my Dad is wrapping his head around all that has just happened.

Please dont stop praying.

According to the dr, this "episode" is the first of more to come over his life...

but we are believing God that He will just heal my dad completely!!

Let me remind you that this completely normal conversation and interaction today is happening without ANY medications in him. nothing.

I am asking God to HEAL my Dad of Parksinson's

through this, and we are thankful for the healing that has already taken place.

Thanks so much, Your prayers have been heard...keep em coming!!

God's power through the Holy Spirit is REAL!!!

urgent prayer needed....update on my dad

I posted a few days ago with a request to pray for my dad...

here is an update.

will hopefully have more time to write more soon.

Unfortunately my dad is not doing any better, and has actually become a bit more incoherent.

I think I said this before, but they were unable to to the MRI (to test for a stroke) because the medicine they gave him to be still during the test had a negative effect and he became very agitated and they were not able to do it.

He is pretty much unable to communicate lucidly...he mumbles jibberish and sounds, but nothing makes sense except for a few words here and there. He doesnt seem to know where he is or whats going on right now.

He has had to be "restrained" to the bed with ties (sounds worse than it is) because whenever he gets agitated or overstimulated he tried to move and thrash around so these help him to remain safe and still.

He is very frustrated by them though (as anyone would be!).

It is very hard to watch.

The latest "diagnosis" or thoughts from the dr is that this is all related to his medications and so the plan right now is they are taking him off of all his meds (parkinsions and dementia meds),

and will reevaluate things as they get out of his system.

So adding to all this is that he is now having some "withdrawal" type symptoms from the medications leaving his body. They have tried to give him so things to help make him calmer but they have not helped up to this point.

So the course of action for us and for you is to PRAY.

pray. pray. pray.

Without ceasing, as the Lord tells us to do.

Please pray for HEALING, for a miracle, for peace.

Please pray for Peace to be in my dad's mind. It is apparent that something in him knows that he isnt right, and it frustrates him.

And please pray for direction and communication with the doctors.

and please please pray for SLEEP. He finally slept last night for the first time in 3 days.

I think his brain is just wired right now. (and they cant give him anything because of the situation).

and please pray for my mom. It is hard enough to watch my dad like this,

but I cannot imagine my husband being like this, not knowing who I am.

Thanks SO much.

I am so thankful for this blogging community and how I know people are actually praying.

I will be in touch.

Please have any other prayer warriors you know join us in crying out for my dad.

We need a miracle,

and we know HE is capable.

please pray for my dad

My computer has been out of commission for about a week so I have missed my blogging world! I hope everyone is doing well and Im hoping to catch up on your blogs soon!

I have had so much on my mind to blog about this week,

but today I am asking you for prayer...

for my precious dad.

Just to cut right to it,

yesterday over a very short time span, my dad became somewhat disoriented

and confused about things.

It became worse as the day went on, so yesterday evening we took him to the emergency room.

They are still testing things, and we are told it could possibly be a stroke, or maybe something is wrong with the medications he takes, or a sudden progression of his disease, or maybe a bad infection has gotten to his brain.

His mental state is not good,

he is very confused, not knowing who people are, where he is, etc.

He gets agitated very easily, and he is having lots of hallucinations.

They tried to do the MRI this evening to test for a stroke,

but the medicine they gave him to stay still during the test

made him worse, so they were not even able to do the MRI.

Dr's are hoping that the cause of this is something messed up with his medications.

I am hoping that too.

I am praying for something "fixable".

I am so sad to see him like this,

its NOT him.

On a daily basis my Dad lives with a disease, one that you may have heard of...

Parkinson's Disease (PD).

You have probably heard that name because Michael J Fox is an amazing activist and patient of PD. You may have even seen him do commercials or on news spots, talking about his disease and his foundation that is trying to find a cure.

I have always wanted to do a post about PD,

about what it is, to make people aware.

and about how much I hate it.

I dont use that word except when talking about this disease...

i HATE it.

Like many diseases, (and like our enemy), it steals, kills, and destroys.

It eats away at the body and mind, and is a life-altering, life-long progressive sickness.

I pray DAILY for God to heal my dad from PD.

My dad is an amazingly kind man,

Most people who know him would tell you that he is one of the sweetest men they know.

He loves people well and loves God well.

As I pray for him and his battle with Parkinson's,

now I am also praying for healing from whatever is causing this problem the last 24 hours.

It is so hard to see my dad not being his gentle self.

Parker has had to remind me that my Dad is still my Dad,

hes just being covered up by this sickness right now.

I fear it will be longer than just right now.

I fear this is a turning point in his health that he wont recover from.

I fear that this will be so difficult.

But I pray that God has a better plan that what I can see in this moment.

I pray that God will HEAL my Dad,

that he will recover quickly from this.

I pray that my mom would find strength in this midst of this pain and uncertainty.

I pray that my Dad's brain and mind would be at peace.

I pray that God would do a miracle, I know He can.

Please pray with me as you feel led...

Thanks so much.

Amazing Grace

This is a post I didn't think I would have to write. Not so soon any way. I have never written or spoken much about death, although the Lord did speak to me about this topic several years ago. He showed me that I have a perception about death that is not true. So, I then began praying for wisdom and studying what the Scriptures say about death versus my understanding. I saw how death equaled fear and finality to me. I saw an exact opposite theme in the Scriptures for His children. At the time, this "new" knowledge was theoretical and interesting. Something I hoped to share with someone when they needed it. I didn't think that that someone would be me, not for a long time any way. A few short years later, I found this understanding the Lord gave me was one of the few things that kept my head together after the sudden loss of my dad. I also found that knowledge and revelation is one thing, but applying it in a daily real way is a fight, a mental battle. In fact knowledge/revelation and application are two separate issues altogether. Less than a year and half after losing my dad, I find myself still learning how to apply what I know to be true. With each passing day, I learn how to win the battle, but it's still a battle nonetheless.

Today I found out some dreadful news. I received word that my dad's best friend, a man who is a second father to me in many ways, and is my Godfather, Ray "Jack" Hardin may only have 3-6 months to live on this earth. He was diagnosed with cancer 3 months after my dad passed away. He's had some ups and downs, but there was cause for hope. Now it seems the physical battle is getting the better of him. He's opted to forgo more chemo and radiation to have these months with strength versus a few extra months with sickness and no strength. I would chose the same.

Now, I am not saying that a medical diagnosis is gospel. In fact, if you know me and Sarah very well, you know of the healing we've been recipients of, and seen in others. So I know the Lord heals. I have seen it many times. I have also seen Him not heal. I have no idea what the Lord intends for Ray Jack. My hope and my prayers are that Ray Jack will have many more years on this earth. But, having just lived through death of my dad and a miscarriage, I will cherish all moments with him that I get.

Today begins a new battle. One I cannot even define yet. I have few words right now. Here's what I do know. I know Ray Jack loves me. I love him. I know the Lord loves Ray Jack and I know the Lord loves me. I know if the Lord takes Ray Jack soon, I will see him again, but I will miss him greatly. Ray Jack is and has been a strong voice in my life. A very dependable and honest voice. A voice of experience. A loving, caring voice.

I hope to discover how to cherish hours, minutes, and seconds. I hope to see another miraculous healing. If I must, I hope to discover how to say "see you later" to someone on their way to see the Father face to face.

In case you had the same wrong perception of death and ever need to know, here's what He showed me so many years ago. As His children, we don't die. We conquer. Our bodies do die, yes, but the real part of us, the part we love in each other begins to live unhindered. We die in the medical sense, but we die into a life of unspeakable joy. So we actually live. As if that wasn't enough, we are given a new body too. Amazing Grace.

Parker