postpartumness

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When I went through my Postpartum Doula training a few years ago,
they had us fill out this drawing according to
what we had learned/what we knew
about what a freshly-postpartum mama is experiencing.

It pretty much sums it all up.
I like to call it "Postpartumness":
and It's no joke.

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If you've given birth (no matter how), you'll know what I'm talking about.
and what I mean when I say
this little drawing could be me right now...
Two weeks out from giving birth
and settling in to the adjustment of being a new mama (of two),
and also dealing with all that comes with my post-partum body.
ugh.

I'm not really trying to vent in this post,
Just being real about where I'm at...
because all these things that are affecting my body physically,
are affecting me in every way: emotionally, spiritually, mentally.
but Thankfully God's grace
is getting me through each day.

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Don't get me wrong, it's all TOTALLY worth it...
I just wanted to shed some light and give a little
well-deserved recognition to
this little-talked-about postpartumness
that every new mama experiences.
We don't just deliver a baby and then magically
feel like a beautiful, energetic new mommy.

I wish someone had told me about some of this stuff before I had my first,
(though i don't want to scare any new expectant mamas!)
This is just reality. My reality, anyways.

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You might recognize a few of the "symptoms" on this little mama.
things I'm currently experiencing:
complete exhaustion
bad headaches from the exhaustion
dehydration from nursing all darn day (and night)
sore nipples (ouch!)
bleeding from afterbirth
afterpains (post-delivery contractions) just stopped a few days ago,
but they were very painful this time.
tummy troubles from the event my body went through
my hips are killing me from laboring so hard and from delivery

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Doesn't that make you want to push out a baby?
haha sorry.. I'm just keeping it real today. :)
and if you've been there, you KNOW what I mean,
and I want to publicly say to you: YOU GO MAMA!!
It should be acknowledged that what you went through in pregnancy, labor, and delivery
was no joke, and that your body took a beating.
But one that was worth it in every way.

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This is part of the reason why I became a Postpartum Doula...
Because new mommies need a lot more support than they realize.
I haven't worked as one since we moved, but hope to again one day.

One thing you can do, if you are not on the birthing end of this little drawing,
(if you're the spouse, the friend, the sister, the mom)
is to remember what this woman in your life just went through,
that her body just grew and birthed a tiny person.
and THAT is no small feat.

I was blessed with family that came to help and friends who made meals,
an amazing birth doula,
and a husband who was there through everything.
(oh, and he brought me some much needed wine last night - the brand was even called "Mommy Juice"! :) props to him!)
THANK YOU to those who have been loving on me a little extra after this birth.

So remember to love on that new mama in your life
a little extra too.
She's going through a lot.
Like I said, postpartum reality is no joke.

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But like I also said...

it is oh so totally worth it.

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Desperate Dependence

{this is a guest post i shared the other day over at
Naptime Diaries...so you may have already read it,
but I felt led to share it again here.}


I gave birth 12 days ago,
to my second baby girl, Bethany.

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I love having a brand new little one around again.
There's something so fresh and innocent about newborns
that brings life to my days.

But I totally forgot how needed I would be.
How dependent on me SHE would be.
I was totally slammed with the reality of a little person
being totally dependent on me when I had my first daughter 2 years ago.
It rocked my world.
And somehow I forgot it would be like this all over again.

Don't get me wrong.
I LOVE fulfilling her every need,
responding to her every cry, never putting her down,
feeding her at all hours.
(and this girl eats ALL the time. :) )

It's just that I forgot about the utter dependence of a newborn.

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But God has shown me something through her need of me.
My mentor growing up called it
"Daily Desperate Dependence".
This need, this complete reliance on God,
that I MUST HAVE to even survive.
Just like my little baby.

I want to learn this lesson from her...
I want to wake from sleep
(literally and spiritually speaking)
CRYING OUT to Him to come and meet me...
and trusting that He will.

I am thankful for the journey of faith that God has had my little family on
for the last 8 years.
It has been one of desperate dependence...
whether we chose it or not.
Circumstances often required it.
Accounts have been negative, health has declined,
life has been taken, life has been given, changes have occurred.
All things that MADE us desperate
for HIS provision and protection.
And He showed up every. single. time.

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Like Bethany is right now,
I desire to be so dependent on my Heavenly Father
that I cannot function daily without Him.

I think part of this dependence comes from remembering
all that He has already done for me.
All the needs He has already met, all the desires He has already fulfilled.
...and to be able to trust Him for even more.

I believe He designed it this way,
He made me His daughter.
He desires to meet my every need.
Because He is GOOD,
and I am desperately needing His goodness in my life,
every. single. day.

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linking up for encouragement today over here:

euphoria


"the state of being elated, full of joy, overly happy":
Euphoria.

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such a weird word, I know...
but in the middle of a late night feeding last night,
its the word that came to my mind as
I tried to process how I was feeling in that moment.

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I am so in love.
I wrote before about how I was afraid I'd have trouble loving two.
But God has once again stretched my heart.

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There's something in me that can put aside the exhaustion,
the sore nipples, the postpartum body pains,
the fear of not doing things "right"...
because I have this love in my heart,
overtaking anything else.

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I feel honored that I get to meet the basic need of LOVE
for this brand new little life.

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And I am honored that my Heavenly Father feels the same way.
{and I need so badly to remember this}
He feels the same "Euphoria" about me
as I do about her.
He is elated, full of joy and overly happy
to love ME.


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