prayer in the sickness

It is so difficult to explain to a child that she will feel better soon.

that her tummy hurts will go away, (we were praying they would)

that Mommy is so sad for her and wishes she could take it from her.

It's heartbreaking.

Abigail got really sick last week.

I had found some weird looking stuff in her diaper and took her in to the dr.

One of the concerns the Dr had was that it could be dried blood from internal bleeding,

but since I did not have a diaper with me, we would have to wait until the next day to test it.

Let me tell you, "internal bleeding" is not something you want

to hear as a possibility for your child.

{*Thankfully it was NOT blood,

but some crazy reaction to an antibiotic she was on.*}

Abigail was not herself AT ALL. Lethargic, laying around, not talking, etc.

And telling me "my tummy's hurting", and "my bottom's hurting"

with the saddest little voice.

*I want to pause and say something here...

I know several mamas who have children with serious conditions and illnesses,

and I want to say I admire you.

And that as I write about a tummy virus and not anything serious,

I am sensitive to the fact that, for you,

its not just something that goes away with time or medicine.

My heart hurts with you as you watch your children suffer.

I also want to acknowledge my own mom right now.

She dealt with LOTS of sickness and doctor's visits, etc raising me.

(I had severe IBS growing up, plus lots of other crazy sicknesses)

I just had NO idea the toll it can take on you as a mother to deal with a sick child,

especially when you are told it could be something serious.

I distinctly remember her telling me she wished she could take it away for me...

and now, as a mommy myself, I understand what that means.

Thanks Mom, for all you did for me, and for all the prayers.

(you deserve a medal for some of the things we went though with my health!)

Needless to say, as we had to wait until the next day to go in for testing,

it was a LONG night full of battling fear and emotion.

I tried to not let my mind go to the worst case scenarios.

Parker and I did our best to just pray against the fear,

and pray healing over Abigail.

During the waiting and praying, something hit me.

Something that I want Abigail to learn from me, from us as a family...

That she will hear her Mommy and Daddy pray for her and believe G0d for her.

That she would learn to pray against fear in her own little life,

that she would learn what it means to pray for healing.

And that she has a God she can talk to and trust with her biggest fears and hurts.

and you know what?

That night as I prayed for Abigail in bed,

she prayed with me and said with the sweetest yet most serious voice,

"God, heal tummy."

She had seen us, and heard us pray for her.

She had seen us trust God on her behalf.

And now she's learning to trust Him too, to call upon Him when she needs Him...

One of the best lessons she can ever learn.

love yall...have a great day.

and thanks to those who prayed with us.

linking up here:

snow, poop, and peace

yep, we got to play in the snow today!

it was a small winter wonderland here in Oklahoma.

These pictures depict a beautiful day,

playing in the snow with my little girl.

However, it's one of those blog posts where the pictures posted

actually make me feel happier than the actual day did.

Just being real.

When it started snowing last night,

I decided I would keep Abigail home from Mother's Day Out today

so we could have a fun time making snow angels and snuggling indoors

watching movies by the fire.

I was so looking forward to it.

But Abigail's little toddler personality had different plans.

Don't get me wrong, we had *some* wonderful snow-filled moments,

but it was a day that had more whines and battles than smiles and snuggles.

if you have mothered a toddler, you know the days Im talking about.

oh and not to mention my little Bethany (5 weeks now)

seemed to have bad gas all day so she was not the happiest camper.

I'm seriously not trying to complain, my life is blessed.

But today was just one of the harder ones in my job as a mom.

When I finally got Abigail down for a

(much-anticipated-by-her-mother) nap,

I tried my best to get Bethany to calm down and sleep as well.

it took a while but she finally did.

During her screaming, I texted Parker and asked him to pray for me.

We do that a lot during the day with each other, when we are needing some intercession.

But right after I texted him,

I realized something.

I was asking Parker to pray for me (out of desperation),

yet i had not even prayed myself, asking the Lord to help me get through the day.

I think since Bethany was born,

I've been trying to do a lot of things in my own strength...simply just for the reason of making it through the day.

Adjusting to life with one baby was difficult for me,

and adjusting to two is even harder.

God really does give me grace, but I just forget to depend on it.

It's there for me to grab every moment of every day.

But sometimes the loudness of toddler tantrums or newborn cries

blocks out the quietness that I can receive from His strength.

The peace.

oh, how I need that peace, All. The. Time.

And when this (very long) day ended with a complete

"poop disaster" as I like to call it,

(all you need to know is lots of cleaning of

toddler, mommy, and clothing was involved)...

I sighed real big and grunted, and I'm sure my face was not loving and happy.

My soul's battle was revealed and it was evident to my precious daughter.

She sat on her little potty, looked up at me,

and said "sowwy mommy, no mad mommy".

my heart broke.

I'm so sad the heaviness in my heart was so evident to her,

to such an innocent little heart who is just struggling with her independence in toddlerhood.

wow, writing this all out is stirring up a lot in me.

But I guess what Im needing to process out loud right now is what I mentioned earlier...

That there is peace for me to walk in,

every. single. day.

And every single moment of every single day.

And i want it to be evident to Abigail.

It's there, it's real, it's powerful.

it surpasses all understanding.

It surpasses toddler fits and newborn fussies.

and even poop disasters.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:7

linking up here ...

go be blessed. :)

and