snow, poop, and peace


yep, we got to play in the snow today!
it was a small winter wonderland here in Oklahoma.

These pictures depict a beautiful day,
playing in the snow with my little girl.
However, it's one of those blog posts where the pictures posted
actually make me feel happier than the actual day did.
Just being real.


When it started snowing last night,
I decided I would keep Abigail home from Mother's Day Out today
so we could have a fun time making snow angels and snuggling indoors
watching movies by the fire.
I was so looking forward to it.

But Abigail's little toddler personality had different plans.

Don't get me wrong, we had *some* wonderful snow-filled moments,
but it was a day that had more whines and battles than smiles and snuggles.
if you have mothered a toddler, you know the days Im talking about.


oh and not to mention my little Bethany (5 weeks now)
seemed to have bad gas all day so she was not the happiest camper.
I'm seriously not trying to complain, my life is blessed.
But today was just one of the harder ones in my job as a mom.


When I finally got Abigail down for a
(much-anticipated-by-her-mother) nap,
I tried my best to get Bethany to calm down and sleep as well.
it took a while but she finally did.

During her screaming, I texted Parker and asked him to pray for me.
We do that a lot during the day with each other, when we are needing some intercession.
But right after I texted him,
I realized something.
I was asking Parker to pray for me (out of desperation),
yet i had not even prayed myself, asking the Lord to help me get through the day.


I think since Bethany was born,
I've been trying to do a lot of things in my own strength...simply just for the reason of making it through the day.
Adjusting to life with one baby was difficult for me,
and adjusting to two is even harder.

God really does give me grace, but I just forget to depend on it.
It's there for me to grab every moment of every day.
But sometimes the loudness of toddler tantrums or newborn cries
blocks out the quietness that I can receive from His strength.
The peace.

oh, how I need that peace, All. The. Time.


And when this (very long) day ended with a complete
"poop disaster" as I like to call it,
(all you need to know is lots of cleaning of
toddler, mommy, and clothing was involved)...
I sighed real big and grunted, and I'm sure my face was not loving and happy.

My soul's battle was revealed and it was evident to my precious daughter.
She sat on her little potty, looked up at me,
and said "sowwy mommy, no mad mommy".

my heart broke.


I'm so sad the heaviness in my heart was so evident to her,
to such an innocent little heart who is just struggling with her independence in toddlerhood.

wow, writing this all out is stirring up a lot in me.
But I guess what Im needing to process out loud right now is what I mentioned earlier...

That there is peace for me to walk in,
every. single. day.
And every single moment of every single day.

And i want it to be evident to Abigail.


It's there, it's real, it's powerful.
it surpasses all understanding.
It surpasses toddler fits and newborn fussies.
and even poop disasters.


"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7

linking up here ...
go be blessed. :)