15 months

I just cannot even believe you are 15 months old.
I feel like you were just born, just a teeny tiny little thing in my arms,
meeting us, meeting your sister for the first time.
Like we were just starting to fall in love with you.

But we fall more each day, sweet Bethany.
You light up ALL of our lives.
Not only are you my dainty petite lady...
You are a funny little thing.
Your personality is so magical and just draws people in.
You are walking everywhere now,
and finally got your two front teeth in
just this week. And they are oh so cute. :)
You love to lean in for kisses and still lean your head on my shoulder
when you are sleepy.
And while you are still somewhat cuddly,
you are very independent.

You love to do everything your big sister does, which is amazing for us to watch.
And speaking of Abigail...she adores you.
She may have some slight sharing issues during this time in her life,
but she loves you, her sweet sissy.
She calls you "Baby" or "my baby" most of the time.
She is very protective of you and watches out for you.
Y'all are already BFF's.

You love to dance and move to music, which makes this mama heart so full.
When we have worship music on, you immediately put your hand up in the air,
like you have just always been a little worshipper.
You adore your Daddy and saying his name is your favorite word.
And he is melted by you.

You have the most beautiful strawberry blonde hair
and porcelain skin.
You have the best smile and giggle.
You are adored by your teachers and do so well at MDO,
which is no surprise.

We are so thankful for your little life.
You are FULL of life,
and you make ours so full!!

Happy 15 months, baby girl.

this moved me...

"I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me. 

Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, 

even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life. 

You yearn for a simplified lifestyle, so that your communication with Me can be uninterrupted. 

But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world. 

Accept each day just as it comes, and find Me in the midst of it all.

Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings. 

Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; 

it is to keep communing with Me.  

A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, 

even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. 

Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. 

Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment. 

He will keep you close to Me."

-from April 1 of Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young-

whew.

There's a lot stirring in me about this, but I need to just sit on it. 

 If you need to hear this today, hear it.

He will speak to your heart.

Easter around our house, 2013.

Hope yall had a blessed Easter!! 

He is risen indeed. 

blood

Blood is how I knew life was being taken from me just a few short weeks ago.
It was a painful sign that love was leaving my body.

On the way to my procedure the next day,
we blasted worship music in the car.
Mainly just to help distract me.
But really, it was stirring something in me...

Parker encouraged me to have lyrics in my head as I went under.
The song that rang loud in my mind and in my heart,
actually stung a little bit too.
Because is was about blood...
something really painful to think about at that time.

But as I went under the anesthesia,
and as I have carried on through the last few weeks,
He has transformed my mind to seeing more.

That through HIS blood...life was given.

I am praising Him today, and thankful for the
new understanding I have of His blood, and the life that comes from it.

Blood is how I knew life was leaving me.
Blood is also how I know there IS life.

- - - - - - - - - -

I beg you to listen to this song.
It is incredibly powerful.
trust me, it will move you.

"Still Believe"

 Your blood makes the deaf to hear right now.

Your blood takes away the curse right now.

Your blood heals every disease right now.

Your blood sets the addict free right now.

And I still believe,

You're the same yesterday, today, and forever.

And I still believe

Your blood is sufficient for me.

Your blood mends the broken heart right now.

Your blood propels me to forgive right now.

Your blood transforms my mind right now.

Your blood brings the dead to life right now.

And I still believe,

You're the same yesterday, today, and forever.

And I still believe

Your blood is sufficient for me.

You're the highest power, 

darkness cannot stand

No longer bound to sin, I am free!

You are all that I need.
Jesus, you are more than enough for me.

And I still believe,

You're the same yesterday, today, and forever.

And I still believe

Your blood is sufficient for me.

All I need.
Come cover us right now.
Come cover us, Jesus.
The blood that opens deaf ears.
The blood breaks down disease.
In your presence God
it has no place
pain has no place
disease has no place
sickness has no place
weariness has no place.
depression has no place
in Your presence

We find
All we need, we find
in your presence.
Jesus.

All we need is in you Jesus.
We believe.

I believe you are who you say you are
You're the one who sees me.
You're the one who formed me.
You're the one who knows me.
every hair on my head.
You created me.
How you loved me
You're the one who has abundant life.
You're the one who has joy for me, Jesus.

I believe.
With all my heart, with all I am
Even when I cannot see,
I will believe.

I will never stop believing.
I will not fear,
because I believe.

"Still Believe"
(including spontaneous worship)

by Kim Walker-Smith

- - - - - - - - - -

Thank you, Jesus,
for the blood you shed for me.
I am in awe.

sometimes reality sucks...but there IS JOY!!

my reality right now is this...
yes, I did just lose my dad and a baby all within a month.
yes, it has been the hardest past 2 months of my life, by far.
yes, I have two little ones at very needy stages in life, pulling me in every direction.
yes, my body feels so out of whack, hormones still trying to adjust after my miscarriage.
yes, I have moments when tears flow easily,
and other times when I wish they would, but they just wont come out.
and yes, it all is hard. and honestly some of it just plain sucks.

but here's the rest of my reality...
there IS joy to be had.
yes.
there really is.



Coming up on my favorite celebration of the year this week,
has me reflecting a lot on the JOY that was made available to me when Jesus died for me.
The hope that I can now have in the midst of loss, heartache, sin, and fear.
the FREEDOM from all of that.
wow.
If that doesn't make me joyful, I don't know what does!



There's no doubt that grief and pain are real.
That fear is real.
These things ARE very real tools used by the enemy to rob us
of the joy we CAN have.

But I urge you today...
let it go. Stop listening to the lies that say you can't have joy.
for whatever reason you have in your head.

If you need to start simply
(kind of the stage i'm in now),
by just finding little aspects of Joy in your life
(like this precious little girl in her pink chair)
...then do that.
Or ask for prayer.
or turn on some worship music and just soak in it.

Let Him heal your heart,
and bring you the peace, the hope, the joy that you need today.



I really want you to know I care.
Tell me how I can pray for you.
Let's pursue the freedom of Jesus' sacrifice together.

email me if you have a prayer need.
I mean it. 
racingtowardsjoy@gmail.com



There IS joy for us all!!