no-pressure blogging

This has been on my heart lately, and then I remembered I posted about it before...

so here's an oldie for ya. I pray it will speak to you today, bloggers.

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There shouldn't be any pressure in blogging.

No pressure to post at certain times or on certain days.

No pressure to link up with certain link parties.

No pressure to comment or follow.

No pressure to perform or please.

I truly believe that blogging should come from our hearts,

and not be in any way about performing for anyone, or pleasing anyone.

That performance mode is so sneaky, at least it is in my life.

But my heart is to BE MYSELF in real life, and in this blog.

and if that means that I can't blog or link up or comment or catch up on blogs

...it's OKAY.

If I need to just gaze into newborn eyes,

or spend time with my (very needy) toddler, or call a friend on the phone,

or even just chill and watch TV...

instead of linking up with the latest link party, or blogging about whatever happened that day

...it's okay, no pressure.

And if that means that I don't post about the amazing crafts I've done with my littles,

or the wonderful dinner I cooked, or the beautiful decorations I "DIYed",

...it's okay, no pressure.

Because I'm not any more than what God gives me grace to be in that moment.

And if that day, we did an awesome craft and

I took amazing pictures of it to share here, then thats great too...

and i LOVE those days!

But if we didn't do crafts all week and I cannot "show" the world the

"amazing mothering" things I've done that week,

that's okay too.

I have found myself getting consumed before, thinking about

what i should blog about, and when I should post it, what pictures I will share, where I will link up, etc etc.

Any of you bloggers relate?

let me be clear:

there's NOTHING wrong with planning to blog,

or posting certain things.

I have done it and will continue to!

But my heart about this is that I would just

"go with the flow"...

that I would blog where there is grace to.

and that basically just means that if I feel peace about it,

and if the Lord has lined it up for me to have the ability to do it,

then that's what I will do.

But if I don't, and if I need to just snuggle with my girls

instead of meeting some "blogging deadline" i have made for myself in my head..

then that's what I will do.

Or if I need to take something to the Lord first,

before I "process" it out loud in a blog post,

then that's what I need to do.

...and on the other hand, if I feel led to post every day or link up every time,

and the Lord gives me the time and grace to do that, then I will.

Maybe it's all just me and noone else deals with this.

I even took a break from blogging last summer for a few months,

so I could re-prioritize my heart and see where blogging fit in.

Thankfully, He showed me it is a part of my life, and that I just have to follow His lead about what and when to blog.

I guess I just wanted to express these thoughts about blogging in hopes to give a little freedom to myself, and possibly stir some other hearts about

just simply blogging as the Lord gives grace to.

and also being okay with setting the computer to the side for a while...

I had to set aside the "plan" in my head for blogging today,

I wanted to do it much earlier in the day.

But life happened.

BUT now here I sit, the end of the night,

with the time and energy (and an unusually quiet house),

and the Lord has given me the grace to write this post

so I can link up with other bloggers here.

I hope that you know my heart is to always be a blessing to anyone who reads this blog,

and I feel it would be a disservice to you, and to myself,

if I blogged according to expectations from myself or others.

I just want to blog where there is grace to blog.

Thanks for listening, love yall.

5 months

Sweet B...

I cannot believe I met you 5 months ago today.

time. has. flown.

You are such a gorgeous little baby, inside and out.

You make my heart melt all the time.

Your favorite form of entertainment is your big sister.

When she is around you, nothing else matters in the world.

She loves you just as much as you love her.

Seeing you two interact already is so incredible.

Nothing makes you laugh and smile quite like Abigail!

You continue to be my snuggle bug, and I cherish that so much.

I love that you nuzzle into me when I am holding you.

You hug my chest when you are ready to nurse, and that makes me smile, it is so sweet.

You love to be rocked and expect it now at night night time.

I love how your tiny tongue quivers behind your paci whenever you are happy,

and it quivers as I rock you until you go to sleep.

We are still working on this sleep thing.

This past week we started some "sleep training", and you are doing so good...

Im so proud of you baby girl.

But I have to admit...even though I know it's best for us right now,

I completely miss sleeping next to you at night, with you cuddled right up next to me all night long.

But I am still getting some sleepy snuggles at nap time whenever I can.

You love your daddy, and light up when he is around.

He adores you too, his little beauty.

Your hair gets more auburn every day, which is such a beautiful surprise.

You love to roll over, sit in your Bumbo, and chew on your feet.

You are basically a happy little camper (unless you get over tired).

You have already survived your first virus and it was terrible...but you made it through.

At your last appointment, you weighed a little over 13 pounds,

and your height, weight, and head were all in about the 15th percentile.

You are just my dainty little lady!

Your personality requires a little more reassurance than your big sister did,

but I am sure that as you grow and learn what a precious child of God you are,

your confidence will grow.

I pray daily for Him to show me how to lead you in that.

I am amazed by you, little one.

Happy 5 months today Bethany Len!!

exhaustion is real

Well after about three days of feeling dizzy, faint, and terrible sharp constant headaches,

I woke up Friday morning with the added symptom of vomiting.

I had been thinking maybe I was just exhausted (which I am), and that I would get better,

but something just didn't feel right.

So we headed to the ER.

The Dr we saw was worried about a possible blood clot since I had a baby not too long ago.

Apparently clots break off a lot easier in postpartum women due to the body healing itself after delivery.

So here we were, sitting there all day thinking I might have a blood clot in my brain, causing all these scary symptoms.

BUT. God is good.

After CT scan, chest xray, and lots of blood work, we found out that I just have a severe sinus/inner-ear infection, combined with

"extreme exhaustion".

So I am on some heavy duty antibiotics and some anti-naseau medication.

and the main prescription: REST.

thats hard to do with two, very needy, little girls.

(especially with a tiny one who nurses all night still)

My amazing mother in law came in town to help (she was already planning to come this weekend, so that was a huge God thing).

Anyways...we are so thankful nothing more serious was going on.

I had been battling a very loud spirit of fear the last several days, thinking that something was seriously wrong with me and that I was not going to get better.

Our enemy is so convincing sometimes, no?

I hate him.

So...I may not be around the blog much in the next several days, as I need to spend every minute I can trying to rest and sleep. I appreciate those of you who have prayed already for me, it means a lot.

Exhaustion is a real thing, and is not something to be taken lightly.

In the doctors words " exhaustion makes ANY sickness EXPONENTIALLY worse",

which is why I felt so crazy and disoriented from just a sinus infection.

So I encourage you right now with this...if YOU need to hear it:

REST.

Find peace, find quiet. Just do it, whenever and wherever you can.

It is vital, and I haven't been doing it enough.

I can find excuse after excuse to not rest or sleep, but look where it got me.

I have often said that God gives me the grace to get up and do each day after not much sleep...and He still does!

I used to consider myself a good "rester", but after number two came along, it seems theres just more to do during naptime or after they are in bed at night.

But I know He's trying to get my attention, that sometimes its ok to put other things aside and just rest.

"Come unto me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened...

and I will give you REST."

Matthew 11:28

naptime thoughts: weight loss, sleep issues, and the zoo...

just a few things running though my mind today while the babes are resting...

We took Abigail to the zoo for her VERY first time, and she loved it! I think I was more excited for her than she was though. It was a little overwhelming and I think she'll probably appreciate it more in a year, but regardless, she loved seeing the "effants" and the "monkey swinging in the tree!!" Cant wait to take her again.

been trying to run. trying. I got all hyped up after I accomplished a 5k a month ago, but it has already worn off. That is my relationship with running..always has been. I get excited, get proud of myself for goals..and then I miss a few times of going and get "out of it" very easily.

but like I said...Im trying. And I've discovered that just going FIRST thing in the morning is best for me...like right as babies wake up, before breakfast, before the heat comes.

We'll see how I do this week.

Speaking of trying to be healthy, we have been TRYING to eat a lot differently around here. I think I shared a few weeks ago that I lost almost 7 lbs in 7 days...and while it hasnt continued to happen that fast, I have lost about 6 more in the last 2 weeks.

I still have about 7 more to go to be at my (pre-preggo) goal weight.

We are basically eating the Paleo diet...but I def cheat more than I should.

It's all about cutting out all processed foods and refined sugar.

that equals HARD for me. I have slipped up a bunch, but Im also learning to give my self grace for it. and the one good thing about NOT sticking to it like I want to, is that I am truly learning how certain foods really affect my body, my mood, everything.

I am so thankful that we are making this change as a family...I need it badly.

(it's not just about the weight, its about our health and wellness)

(these are some awwwwweeesome Paleo egg muffins that we consume on the daily.)

I plan to blog more about this and post some yummy recipes soon if yall are interested!

oh yeah, and Ive been thinking I really need to write out Bethany's birth story.

She almost 5 months old, can you believe it?! ahhh!! time has FLOWN with number 2.

Speaking of sweet little B, I've been really wrestling with what to do with her sleep.

Now. i KNOW that bringing up "sleep issues" concerning babies opens up a whole big can of worms to people's opinons and judgements, so i've been hesitant to share here about my thoughts and such.

But I'm thinking I need to...and I'm hopeful that feedback would be encouraging rather than discouraging. We will see.

Pray for me about this? for wisdom of what to do?

oh, and while you're at it, pray for some sleep for me. thanks.

Abigail has been playing "mama" a lot lately, which just warms my heart.

(below her dolly is resting on her napmat)

She is constantly asking me to help her swaddle her dolly, she puts her in Bethany's carseat, she takes her shopping in her little cart...everything I do with the real baby.

It hit me hard today, as I heard Abigail tell her dolly "I'm here baby. No cry baby, Mama's here"

that she WILL imitate everything I do.

and I don't just mean in the toddler sense...but I mean in life, in her own emotional and spiritual growth, she is looking to me to know what to do, say, how to act, etc.

What an honor, but what a calling for me.

It just makes me want to press into Jesus, so that I can mother her heart in the exact way she needs me to.

Oh,, and we've been playing hard around here.

Thought I'd leave you with a little picture of reality.

:)

hope your week is going great!!

a devoted play day

It has been on my heart to have one whole day devoted to just PLAYing...I mean we do ALOT of that every day, but I mean one day of NO distractions.

no phone, no computer, no cleaning, no cooking, nothin.

JUST me and my girls.

I even told Parker that I would be "phone free" for the day.

{And it seems like this was really the Lord, because one of my bloggy besties, Carina, wrote about the same thing that very day.}

and I have to say it really was amazing to not feel like I had anything to "check" or look at except for these two sweet faces all day!!!

Here are a few scenes from our day on Wednesday!

water table, baby pool, bed picnic, decorating cookies... we all had a blast!

and B wore a swimsuit for the first time!

(she's a little teensier than A was...the same swimsuit on Abigail was a little tight around her sweet chunky thighs!)

and we had a fun picnic on mama's bed

(sitting on mama's Mickey blanket from when she was a kid!)

(oh hey there little B!)

I've decided to make Wednesdays our weekly "Play Day", and I can't wait!

Have a great Memorial Day weekend! I've been waiting patiently for this weekend for the Splash Pad to open....lots of watery pics to come for sure!! wahoo!