I want to protect her always, at every moment.
Theres something that happens in your heart when you become a mommy that
creates a need to protect your baby
from all the harms, evils, sadnesses and heartbreaks of the world.
But we have to trust that HE is their ultimate protector.
A few days ago I was watching the tv camera on the eliptical machine
as Abigail played and had a great time in the gym nursery while I worked out.
She loves playing there and meeting new friends every day.
But then I saw a little boy, not too much bigger than her,
push her out of his way for no reason.
My heart broke, but I was proud to see my girl get up and move on to the next thing without being phased at all...I knew I needed to let her learn how to deal with this.
Then it happened a second time when she was looking at the toy next to him.
I was getting angry but knew I shouldn't go intervene just yet, because she was perfectly fine and walked to another part of the room to play with something else.
I told myself that if it happened again I would go in and get her.
About 3 or 4 minutes later, this little boy gets up from what he is playing, walks clear across the room and shoves Abigail hard from behind,
causing her to fall forward.
For no reason.
I was livid. And heartbroken.
Tears streaming down my face at this point, I ripped my headphones off and rushed to the nursery to rescue my baby girl.
When I walked in, the workers had the little boy in time-out,
and Abigail had already found a doll to play with.
I picked her up and loved on her,
telling her I was so sad that she got pushed, and we left.
Abigail was fine.
But not me.
I immediately called Parker just bawling.
So sad that I had seen someone be so mean to my little girl.
SO sad wondering what she must have thought when she got pushed for no reason by someone she just wanted to be friends with.
As I cried, my deeper fears and emotions came out.
Fear and sadness that I cannot protect her from all the hurts she will
no doubt endure in her life.
Fear that I will not always be able to make sure she is treated right by others.
Sadness thinking about her feelings being hurt by girl friends,
or her heart being broken by boys someday.
I want to protect her.
Shield her. Hide her from the evils in this world.
For me, this was about more than just a little boy pushing my little girl.
(and I'm sure I will be on the other end of this someday,
I do realize that kids will be kids and don't always do the right thing)
It was (is) about trusting HIM, HER Father, My Father,
with her heart.
with her emotions, with her body.
That He knows what she needs and what she doesn't need.
That He knows the lessons she must learn, even about the hearts of other people.
That He will protect her when I cannot.
That He loves her more than I do.
I know this will be a lifelong daily surrender for me.
But I am thankful I know she is in His arms.
All the time.
sharing whats on our hearts today over here:
