dont push my baby girl!

I want to protect her always, at every moment.

Theres something that happens in your heart when you become a mommy that

creates a need to protect your baby

from all the harms, evils, sadnesses and heartbreaks of the world.

But we have to trust that HE is their ultimate protector.

A few days ago I was watching the tv camera on the eliptical machine

as Abigail played and had a great time in the gym nursery while I worked out.

She loves playing there and meeting new friends every day.

But then I saw a little boy, not too much bigger than her,

push her out of his way for no reason.

My heart broke, but I was proud to see my girl get up and move on to the next thing without being phased at all...I knew I needed to let her learn how to deal with this.

Then it happened a second time when she was looking at the toy next to him.

I was getting angry but knew I shouldn't go intervene just yet, because she was perfectly fine and walked to another part of the room to play with something else.

I told myself that if it happened again I would go in and get her.

About 3 or 4 minutes later, this little boy gets up from what he is playing, walks clear across the room and shoves Abigail hard from behind,

causing her to fall forward.

For no reason.

I was livid. And heartbroken.

Tears streaming down my face at this point, I ripped my headphones off and rushed to the nursery to rescue my baby girl.

When I walked in, the workers had the little boy in time-out,

and Abigail had already found a doll to play with.

I picked her up and loved on her,

telling her I was so sad that she got pushed, and we left.

Abigail was fine.

But not me.

I immediately called Parker just bawling.

So sad that I had seen someone be so mean to my little girl.

SO sad wondering what she must have thought when she got pushed for no reason by someone she just wanted to be friends with.

As I cried, my deeper fears and emotions came out.

Fear and sadness that I cannot protect her from all the hurts she will

no doubt endure in her life.

Fear that I will not always be able to make sure she is treated right by others.

Sadness thinking about her feelings being hurt by girl friends,

or her heart being broken by boys someday.

I want to protect her.

Shield her. Hide her from the evils in this world.

For me, this was about more than just a little boy pushing my little girl.

(and I'm sure I will be on the other end of this someday,

I do realize that kids will be kids and don't always do the right thing)

It was (is) about trusting HIM, HER Father, My Father,

with her heart.

with her emotions, with her body.

That He knows what she needs and what she doesn't need.

That He knows the lessons she must learn, even about the hearts of other people.

That He will protect her when I cannot.

That He loves her more than I do.

I know this will be a lifelong daily surrender for me.

But I am thankful I know she is in His arms.

All the time.

sharing whats on our hearts today over here:

What I Wore...

SO...

today Im linking up for the very first time to

"What I Wore",

over at The Pleated Poppy

(one of my fav blogs...check it out!)

This week is a little different than it normally will be...

it is my "visiting home" (preggo) version from staying at my parents house

last week in Dallas!

(note my girl-hood room in the backgrounds!)

left pic: flowery shirt from Motherhood Maternity, maternity jean shorts from Target

right pic: shirt from Old Navy Maternity, maternity jean shorts from Target

pink Target maternity shirt (plain I know!), with my jean shorts

(they are my most comfortable preggo shorts right now, mmk?!)

headband: Aldo Accessories

i get nervous with headbands, but hey, I'm TRYing!

and of course I had to include the real fashionista...

rockin her Gap denim dress at the mall

(and do you see what store she's heading to? good taste, girl.)

left pic: Old Navy Maternity shirt, necklace from Aldo

right pic: A Pea in the Pod Maternity shirt, sunnies from Forever 21

and lastly, my 19 week belly shot!

maternity dress from Motherhood Maternity

Im hoping to get better about taking clearer shots,

and also am wanting to expand my accessorizing horizons! :)

The whole point of this link up over at The Pleated Poppy is not to compare, judge, etc...

It's to encourage each other, especially us mommies, to get out of our yoga pants and tank tops (guilty as charged!) every now and then, do our hair,

and remember that we are still girls

underneath the throw-up stains, toddler paint, and sheer exhaustion.

and I must say it felt good to actually shower and put on "real clothes".

(you'll understand someday if you arent a mama yet!)

check it out over here:

it's a . . .

what color would the icing be inside that sweet little cake?!

(drumroll please...)

it was

PINK!!!!

our tummys were all churning to find out,

even though all of us called "girl" right before Parker cut the cake!

We could not be more excited to welcome another little princess to the family!

We had our gender sonogram sitting in an envelope for almost two weeks,

just calling for me to peek...but I didn't!

We took it to a local bakery and had them make a cake

with either pink or blue icing on the inside

(thanks yall for that precious suggestion!)

And then we got to cut into the cake with our family around while we were at my parents house in Dallas last week!

Our hearts will melt once again with a precious little girl,

and we feel SO blessed.

I am so excited for Abigail to have a sister, I know she will embrace her!

And I love that now I know that the little life growing inside me

is another little princess!!

and...I think I have found a new love for pink icing now. :)

eight.

Eight years ago today we started an incredible journey together.

we have been blessed through every season.

Seasons full of love, fun, adventure, newness.

and seasons full of sickness, trial, struggle, and loss.

We have stuck with the vows to each other,

and the vow God made to us.

That He would never leave us or forsake us...

through the good and the bad, the rich and the poor,

the sickness and the health.

Our desire at that ceremony 8 years ago tonight

was that the Lord would be worshipped.

Little did we know how prophetic the main song of our wedding would be.

We sang it during the wedding,

and we walked down the aisle into the world

as a married couple to this song:

"You give and take away.

You give and take away.

My heart will choose to say,

Lord, Blessed be Your Name"

Let's just say our hearts have had to choose A LOT

to say "Lord, blessed be Your name."

Because though a lot has been given,

a lot has been taken away in our short life together.

But He has remained sovereign.

People have literally said to us in the past

that maybe we should not be married because

"God seems to be putting ya'll through too much."

We have had friends ask if we accidentally said

"in sickness and in sickness" in our vows.

We have been told maybe we had made a mistake,

that why would God allow us to go through so much, so young?

We used to dwell on what was being taken,

by our Enemy, or by God's protection for us.

But we are {still} learning to say,

and actually believe,

"Lord, Blessed be Your Name!!"

God gas GIVEN in our marriage.

protection from things unseen.

forgiveness when it seemed hopeless.

money when there wasn't any.

children at perfect, unexpected timing.

healing from major sickness.

provision we didn't know we would need.

I wouldn't trade our journey together for anything.

It has blessed me, challenged me, grown me, and guided me

beyond my wildest dreams.

I cannot believe it's been 8 years,

but I cannot imagine having spent them any other way.

We. Are. Blessed.

God has given us immeasurable JOY even in the midst of fire.

I love who we've become.

I love who we're going to be.

I love US.

Happy 8 year Anniversary, Parker Lowe.

I'm so glad I said "I do".

first pics of Baby 2!

Introducing...Baby 2!!

Today was the day we have waited for for what seems like forever...

to see our new little punkin!!

Because of the financial journey the Lord has had us on,

this was the first real ultrasound we have had with this pregnancy.

It's been a challenge to wait so long (I am about 18 weeks now!),

but it has also allowed a pressing in of my heart to trust God

with this baby growing inside,

and not put any hope in an ultrasound or a doctor.

We were so blessed

(and shocked bc it seems SO real now!)

to see our strong, beautiful baby!

Baby finally uncrossed it's legs after 35 minutes of stubbornness

(hmm sounds like another little punkin I know!)...

and we had the sonographer write down it's gender in a note.

We are still deciding how we are going to reveal it to ourselves

and our family,

but knew we wanted to wait and do it on our own

{It's taken all of me not to open the envelope today!}

Dont worry, we will reveal it soon!!!

Abigail had fun looking at the pictures of baby when we got home.

She took them from me and walked around the house saying "my baby!"

{I might have cried a little.} :)

I cannot WAIT for her to be a big sister, she's gonna love it!

and I'm sure she WILL think it is HER baby!

below is my favorite one.

A tiny little butt sticking up in the air...

just how Abigail sleeps sometimes.

SO cute, right?!

Oh, and one more exciting thing we found out today...

Baby's official due date:

January 5th!!!!