Urgent prayer needed...

this is definitely not the post I was wanting to write today.
I had planned to share pics of our trip to Dallas to celebrate Bethany's birthday, and cheer our Aggies on
at the Cotton Bowl (Whoop! by the way).

While we did get to do those things, (go to the game Friday night, and have birthday cake Saturday morning),
the weekend took a different turn on Saturday night.

So here I am, asking for prayer, because I believe that the more prayers being said, the more it is felt.
And to those of you who have already been praying...we DO feel it. 
THANK you.

Long story kind of short, it appears as though my Dad's Parkinson's Disease has just taken a sudden turn and some pretty severe things have made his health decline in the past few days.
He is now in the ICU and the doctors are trying/testing everything to figure out what has happened and how to help him recover.

The main medical issues right now are that his core body temperature has been very very low (it was life-threateningly low when he arrived at the hospital on Sunday morning), and the other issue is that his blood pressure has been extremely low.
In addition to those things, he is very hard to wake, and remains in a stiff position. He is hard to understand and does not understand everything around him right now.

He started getting very weak on Saturday afternoon and evening, and by late Saturday night was not even able to move or do anything for himself. So Sunday morning, we decided to call the paramedics to take him to the hospital. When they got there, they confirmed that we had done the right thing, since his stats were so bad.

Really, since a few days after Christmas, my mom had seen a bit of a decline cognitively and physically, but in the last few days it seems to have taken a more sudden drop.
The doctors called him a "mystery" and still have no real answers as to why this happened, and why so quickly.
Parkinson's is a progressive disease, but is a gradual progression, and so to have such a sudden change is weird to us, and weird to the doctors. But we are thinking, at least as of today, that it may just be a rare, rapid episode of the disease getting worse. We just don't know.

Like I said, he is currently in the ICU, and while his temperature and blood pressure remain very low, they have risen some due to them pumping warm fluids through his blood. He remains pretty out of it.
He is now experiencing episodes of "delirium" and agitation, which has happened every time he goes into the hospital. They have him on some anti-psychotic drugs for that, but those can severely mess with the millions of Parkinsons meds he is already on. Just all pretty much scary stuff.

all that to say, we need prayer. My dad needs prayer, my mom needs prayer, my whole family needs prayer.

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how you can specifically pray:
1. peace for my Dad. It kills me inside to think of him feeling scared or confused, but not being able to communicate it to us right now. Pray that God would be speaking to him.
2. peace and strength for my mom. She is amazing, and amazing wife and caregiver. (you who know her know that). But she needs peace and rest.
3. that the doctors would figure some things out, that we would have clear answers.
4. for peace and wisdom as we look into making a long term plan if need be (home health, etc.)
5. that my Dad's temperature and blood pressure would be able to be regulated and steady on their own.
6. that the traumatic episodes of "psychosis" and delirium would stop.
7. that he would come out of this, that he would return to his normal.
8. that if he doesn't, God would give us supernatural peace anyways.

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Thanks so much. If you know me well, and know my dad, I know that this is hard to hear because he is such a precious lovable man. Please feel free to call, text or email me if you have any more questions or want better updates.

I have decided to stay in Dallas for a little while, so you can also pray for my girls as we are not at home and in our normal routine. My mother in law has been incredible and so helpful in watching the girls. (thank you, Jan).

And I have to say one more thing about my amazing husband.  He has had to do and see things this weekend that
no son-in-law should ever have to. But he has done it with grace and care and made my dad feel so peaceful, speaking words of peace and truth and comfort to him.  I am so thankful for his heart and willingness to love my family well.
(thank you, Parker.)

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I am so sad and overwhelmed right now, but I also know... I KNOW...that God is in control.
I really do feel His presence with me.
I am trying to choose to believe His goodness in the midst of suffering.

Thanks for believing with me.

(I will update later this week, as I can)

ONE!

Bethany Len Lowe, the littlest love of my life, my snuggle bug, my funny girl, my monkey.

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(PS this pic has NO editing...she really is just that beautiful! proud mama. :)  )

You are ONE today...ONE!
I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by. You continue to steal my heart day after day.

You have the best little giggle, and you love to laugh.
You love to crawl and pull up on everything, and just this week you started using your "walker" to walk all around the house. I can't believe you are already so big!
You love yogurt melts, green beans, and cheerios.
You love other people, and you love to smile.
You make the best little scrunchy-nose-face when you are happy...I can't get enough of it.

Your big sister is the most amazing entertainment ever, and you cant stand to not be around her.
She makes you smile like no one else can, which is amazing to witness.
Your sissy loves you to pieces...I can't believe she went two whole years without you in her life,
because it seems like y'all were just always with each other since the very beginning.
Abigail loves to include you (most of the time), and loves for me to tell you things on her behalf.
She used to call you Bethy Baby, and I miss that sometimes.
She adores you.

You love your daddy with all of your little self...your first words were about a month ago...
you said "Dada". (and let me tell you, you melt his heart every.single.time you say it.)
You have him wrapped around your tiny finger. You melt each other.

You love me a lot to...you love for me to be the one to cuddle or reassure you.
And I am not complaining. I love being so needed by your little heart.
I can't think of anything else I'd rather do than love on you, sweet girl. I love to comfort you and play with you.  While I truly miss nursing you, and am sad it didn't last as long as I had hoped, I love giving you a bottle. I feel so bonded to you.
You are a lot like me, strong willed but also very sensitive (sometimes a little too sensitive)
You are my girl, through and through.

I am so honored to be your mommy.
I look forward to your growing up, but I also want things to just slow down.
I love you being a tiny little baby girl.

Happy Birthday, sweet one. I hope it is filled with joy and fun!
And I pray the Lord's sweet blessings over you in Jesus' name...that He would fulfill all your heart's desires and dreams, and that you would know His heart well.

Happy 1.
I love you, Bethany.

love,
mama

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(come back next week to hear Bethany's birth story...)

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Have a great weekend!
Gig Em Aggies! (Cotton Bowl tonight, y'all)...
and Happy Birthday Bethany!!!!

a sort-of New Yearsy post.

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welp, its now 2013 and I didn't do the obligatory and expected "2013 New Years" post like most bloggers.
And really, I had plans to, I had plans to write a great post about what I am looking forward to in the coming year, about what I believe the Lord is speaking to us about this year, about my goals, about my desires, etc etc. you get it.
You read it all over web land just like I did.

And really I love reading those posts, I love hearing people's desires and goals and ambitions for a new season and
year of life...it is always encouraging a motivating.

In my reading, I came across two wonderful, heart-touching posts about setting "goals" for the new year...
read Jami's post here, and read my friend Leslie's post here.
They really get to the heart of the matter...to the heart of why we should want to set goals, to the heart of why we DO set goals, to the heart of priorities in setting goals.
Go read, they really spoke to my heart, and I'm sure they will to yours.

But back to the not-blogging-a-new-years-post thing... I honestly feel today, as I sit and write this out, that it's kind of just fitting with the theme that I feel like the Lord is doing in me in this season.

That I wait on Him to tell me when and how and where and what. That I don't want to do anything out of my own flesh or my own selfish priorities. (and not just with blogging, but with everything)
Not sure if I can describe my heart about this to make total sense to you here, but anywho.
Point is...I haven't had the time or energy to blog the last few days, and that's ok with me.

Doing this blog is in fact a huge part of my life. It is where I get to process, pour out, be encouraged, encourage, share life, etc. I have even met some of my best friends through this blog. Literally, girls who I do life with every day now, even if it just through a million texts across thousands of miles.

So while this blog is so important to me, it is not THE most important.

Other things have to take priority. Like helping figure out our new family budget, helping with some "administrative" things with my husband as he puts things in order for our family. Running errands, cooking healthy (hmm, trying anyways), playing with my girls, changing diapers, etc etc etc. you get the pic. And one of the most important, loving on my husband.  And if that looks like putting the computer away at night and not blogging like I had wanted to, so we can just chill and watch a show without making him feel like i am just looking at a computer screen, then that's more important.

Parker and I decided to sit down and write out goals/desires/prayers for the coming year.
I made a piece of paper with each topic on it, and spread then out on the floor.
(topics included marriage, financial, parenting, fitness, time management, etc)
So after the kids went to bed the other night, we sat down, and started discussing/filling out each sheet. We did not even get half way done before our brains needed a break, but it was such a wonderful start.
We've never done anything like this before, and I think it was a great way to start fresh in a new year.

It makes me excited to see where God takes us, what words He fulfills in our family, and what restoration He brings to places where we need it most, in this coming year. It has already begin, and I am so thrilled to see the fruit.

I am also excited to see the new season for my blog. I am excited for new community, for new relationships, for new adventures. So excited.
But I am gong into the blogging thing with a readiness to blog as and when He gives me the grace me to.
I can only hope that it will become an even bigger blessing in my life if I do that.

Thanks for hearing my heart today, and thanks for being a part of my journey into a new year,
and into another year of blogging.

Y'all rock. :)

twenty twelve

New changes, new joys, new words from the Lord, new goals...a new season is ahead.
(so I thought I'd stick with the new theme and change things up here on my blog...again. : ) )

I am so excited and feel refreshed already about what lies ahead for us this year. I feel like the Lord has already given us some words to believe Him for, and to pursue with Him, as we start this new year. I really believe we are going to see lots of things come to fruition that He has been speaking for years. I think a time of favor for the things He has placed in our hearts is coming. That thrills me, and humbles me, to be thankful for all that He HAS done...and excited for all that He WILL do.

Today though, I am looking back, (I know I know, everyone is.) But I think it's really important to do.
To see where we have come from, to remember the hard and the good...to remember His goodness and where He has shown up. I think it has a nature of propelling us into believing Him for the new.
you with me?

So in addition to lots of reflection outside of this blog, I am also looking back at some favorite blog posts from 2012. Thought I'd share...

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Bethany's arrival - the best part of 2012 for sure. We started the year with becoming a family of 4.
I can't believe she will be ONE in 4 days.
here

postpartum reality - a good honest look at what lots of new moms are going through
(including some pretty funny diagrams)
here

my very first Vlog - and I enjoyed doing it!
here

being real about blogging - God starting to open my heart to being more real here.
here

Toddler Busy Bag Swap (this got lots of pins on Pinterest)
here

lemonade pitchers (another one with lots of Pins)
here

things you may not know about me, including my adoption, my tattoo and what I did
before I was a mama.
here

I completed my second ever Triathlon, a big accomplishment/goal for 2012.

my battle with shame
here

my 45 pound post-baby weight loss and my freedom from sugar addiction.
This was the start of me sharing about our Paleo/Whole30 journey...
here

My story about dealing with Colic. How hard it is, but how God taught me in the midst of it.
here

My supernatural deliverance from Fear, and my miraculous healing from Fibromyalgia.
I got more personal emails after this post than ever before. I was honored to hear people's stories and be walking through their journies with them.
here

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wow, God is good, no?!

Hope y'all have an incredible NYE. Can't wait to see what God does in the season to come. :)
So thankful y'all have been a part of my story in 2012.