just typing what's on my mind...

I honestly have no idea what to write about right now.

It's like my mind is a million places, but nowhere at all.

I'm seriously just typing.

I dont even have a plan with the pictures I've put in this post,

I just loved them and wanted to share them. :)

SO I guess I'll share a few things going through my brain this morning:

I am IN LOVE with my beautiful Abigail...

my love for her brings me to tears lately.

I am excited and nervous to have another in 5 weeks.

I'm nervous about loving her as much as I do Abigail

(more about that here).

I'm anxious about how my sleep and energy will be affected with 2 littles.

I cannot wait to nurse a new baby again.

I believe God is wanting us to press in to Him,

and really get a clear picture as to what this season is for us.

I think this season may look different than what we've been trying to make it.

I'm anxious to understand what fellowship needs to look like for us in

this season.

I know that He will reveal it all.

I'm yearning to live BY HIS STRENGTH, and not my own.

(oh how badly I need to understand that.)

I am overwhelmed by all the "projects"

(organizing closets, garage, finishing A's baby book, etc)

that I want to get done before #2 arrives.

I am thinking about how to spend less and buy handmade gifts

(or make them myself) for Christmas this year.

I am so touched by this new "mothering spirit"

that Abigail has just stated lately...

she loves on her dollies so sweetly, which just WARMS my heart.

I am feeling so so grateful for the gift of spending each day with

my little girl.

I am surprised each day by how big and mature she is becoming.

(and a little sad too)

Today I have several friends on my heart whom I havent talked with

in a long time,

not sure why they have popped up in my mind,

but I am praying for them today.

I'm anxious to start a new way of eating healthy, exercising more, etc.

Parker and I have had several talks lately about how important it is for us to set

a great example to our children,

and how we need to change some habits, so that we will live to see their children.

As much as I love being pregnant,

I am anxious to have my body back to where it was.

I'm sad that my hubby has been sick all week, I feel so helpless.

I can't believe I'm going to be 29 in a few days,

I feel like life has just FLOWN since we had Abigail.

I so wish it would all slow down.

I feel like the Lord is trying to restore my heart of worship

and I am trying to be obedient to that. It has gotten lost in the daily stuff.

I want to live in the joy that Abigail has each day,

just uninhibited, unconditional JOY,

but I know that HAS to come from Him.

anyways.

that's my mixed up brain this morning...thanks for listening. :)

Lots on my heart, lots to process,

Lots to trust Him with.

Love yall, hope your day is blessed!

linking up today for some encouragement:

shaken.

You may or may not know this,

but Oklahoma experienced several large Earthquakes last weekend,

(the epicenter was about 40 miles from us)

the largest being on Saturday night at about 10:45 PM.

it was a 5.6 magnitude quake, and the night before's was a 4.7.

(oh, and we had another 4.7 on Monday night)

Being from Texas, I have NEVER experienced anything like that before.

The first one on Friday literally shook me awake in my bed.

And then Saturday night,

I was upstairs washing my face for bed and all of the sudden

the floor started shaking under me...

I felt so dizzy and had to hold on to the counter for fear of falling over.

I immediately checked the monitor to see that Abigail was still fast asleep,

and then ran downstairs where my hubby and mother-in-law were watching TV.

Everything was swaying and rattling, the ceiling fan swinging back and forth,

and this terrible deep rumble from the core of the earth was just vibrating in my ears.

so so scary.

My first thoughts were to gather my family,

to make a safe place for them,

to pray, to tell people it will all be okay,

to tell people that they can know a loving man named Jesus

and that He will meet all their needs when they are scared.

And I needed to remember that myself.

It was literally only a few minutes of shaking, nothing even fell,

no damage was done, noone was hurt.

But my emotions and my heart were

SHAKEN.

Im telling you,

it took that short amount of time to literally shake me into fear.

And lots of "what-ifs"...

What if this is a terrorist attack?

What if the Earth opens up underneath us?

What if our house falls down on us?

What if I can't protect my family?

What if this lasts forever?

What if I die?

What if my family dies?

What if I never see my daughter's precious face again?

God has continued to shake me this week,

physically and emotionally.

We have experienced earthquake aftershocks every day,

some cant be felt but some, like this morning,

make you draw in your breath a little.

and it hasn't just been the Earth shaking me...

A lot has happened since yesterday.

and yesterday wasn't easy to begin with.

{you can read yesterday's blog post here}

Waking up yesterday,

knowing it was the 1 year anniversary of my miscarriage,

was already difficult.

Then we received a call that one of my husband's friends from school

has lost his 10 -year-old son the night before,

due to an asthma attack.

just devastating.

I cannot believe we have to go to a funeral for someone so small this weekend.

I am heartbroken for their family.

*the little boy had a twin sister, please keep her in your prayers*

A few hours after that, my best friend from Dallas called me to

pray for her daughter

(she's just 2 months older than Abigail).

She was taking her into the pediatrician due to some weird symptoms going on.

She called me back an hour later to tell me they were being sent

to check for a possible brain tumor or a seizure disorder...

something not good.

All I could do with her was cry.

And pray.

*we are still waiting to hear the results this afternoon from the tests,

and are praying for a miracle or a dr's wrong assumption of what is wrong.

Please, please pray.*

All this to say,

(today I am just pouring out my heart to you,

just being real about where I'm at in this moment)

I have been shaken by fear, by earthquakes, by loss,

by the enemy's lies.

I had nightmare after nightmare last night, of losing Abigail.

It is my biggest fear in life,

as I know any mommy would say the same.

Thankfully the Lord woke me up at 4:30 AM

and all I could do was walk around my house rebuking fear

and telling it to go back to where it came from.

And claiming Jesus's victorious blood

over all these situations.

And praying for me to trust Him with it all.

To remember that He is in control,

That He Loves me more than I think.

Please join me in prayer for

my husband's friend who has lost his son,

that they will see the compassion of Jesus as people

gather around them tomorrow at the service.

And please pray for my best friend,

and their precious little girl,

as we wait for an answer and to see what God is going to do.

And pray for me, for yourself, for your loved ones,

that we would all remember and recognize

the ONE who IS in control.

...because He loves us.

sharing our hearts here today:

what i need today

I need to remember.

that there is freedom, life, grace, purpose.

that there is a time for every season.

that He is my Strength, my All.

that HE is my Plan.

no other plans will work.

that HE creates.

He gives and takes away.

He cares.

I need to remember that He loves me more than I can grasp.

that He will see us through, and meet our every need.

That there is JOY in Him.

Help me remember Lord.

Stuff is Heavy

Two weeks ago we followed a huge moving van with all of our stuff in it to our new town.

It was filled to the brim.

Last weekend we had to go back for more,

filling up an entire U-haul trailer, plus the bed of Parker's truck.

Filled. With. STUFF.

As we drove the u-haul, it was almost just exhausting to feel the weight of the trailer

(because of all the stuff in it)

pulling behind our truck on the highway.

Parker had to drive meticulously to keep it between the lines.

As he drove, he made the comment:

"Stuff is heavy."

whew.

I know, right?

I attempt to be open and honest sharing here on this blog,

so here's the real honest picture of our garage right now.

I know the justifications you { I } might think:

"but its a garage"

"but you've been married for 8 years, you SHOULD have a lot of stuff"

"but thats normal"

"but you might need that someday!"

"but you just moved!"

oh, and this is all our stuff that didn't fit in the house, or needs to be gone through...

I have already had 2 small breakdowns/nasueas moments at the amount

of things we own and don't need.

(seeing it all in boxes really brings it to light)

An 18-month-old baby does not need all that she has.

We don't need more than one rake.

And I don't need 2 crock pots.

I'm not a hoarder, I don't have a shopping addiction.

(in fact, a lot of this stuff has been given to us in our seasons of drought financially)

But I think there's something deep here God is wanting me to see.

Something very deep.

I'm still working through it, but here is a part of what I'm beginning to ponder...

I know this verse can be a little overused and taken in a legalistic manner about spending money, but i want to try and share with you what God is showing me about it:

please keep with me here.

"Don't store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of you heart will also be."

Matthew 6:19

BUT DONT STOP THERE.

two verses down comes the root issue, in my opinion.

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear, Isn't life more than food, and you body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you FAR more valuable

to Him than they are?

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lillies of the field and how they grow...

And if God cares for wildflowers that are here today and gone tomorrow,

he will certainly care for you.

So, don't worry about these things, saying, what shall we eat? what will we wear?

...Your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs..."

Matthew 6:25

Believe Him. Trust Him. KNOW that HE will provide for you.

And protect you.

Then maybe we can focus on the life-giving gifts He has given,

and not feel the need to store up STUFF in barns.

Or garages, or closets, or pantrys or whatever it is for you.

I need to breathe in some peace (this picture helps), even after just writing this out.

I want to trust Him like I am more valuable than the bird outside.

I could write for hours about the ways HE has provided and proven His goodness to us,

But I still need to believe Him (DAILY) and not worry, or store up,

out of fear that He won't provide for me

JUST what I need IN the moment that I need it.

Because He will...

He loves me more than the birds.

sharing my heart over here today, check it out:

M-O-V-I-N-G!!!

It's time to share what's going on with us lately....

We are.....

M - missing our friends and family so much already.

O - open to all that's in store in this next season.

V - very excited to live in a "small town".

I - incredibly blessed by our supportive family as we make this move.

N - nesting...I LOVE nesting in a new home!

G - grateful for the opportunity we've been given.

(this is how the house will look for the next few weeks...

boxes, boxes, and more boxes!)

Yep, MOVING. Away from the big city Dallas life and on to....

(drum roll please)

Norman, Oklahoma!

We lived there our first year of marriage while Parker finished law school at OU,

and love the town, so we are excited to go back as a family.

Its about 100,000 people, which is a little more up our alley than the million or so in Dallas.

Its a great college town with lots to do and see.

(though we will still be rooting for our Aggies when they come to play OU this year!)

(the beautiful OU campus)

Parker is joining up with his roommate and friend from law school who has had a little practice there in town, doing the same kind of law Parker's been doing on his own here.

It is a great opportunity for him to grow,

and a great opportunity for our family to move.

(praying for renters for our house here!)

If you know us, you know we've tried to move away from Dallas several times (Colorado, Australia, etc), but the Lord has always shut the door, even at

the last minute...making it clear that we would be in Dallas until He said to go.

And now He is SHOVING

doors open for us.

We have had quite a few trials and doors close (so thankful for those looking back) throughout our journey, and not just when it comes to moving. But He has ALWAYS made

His plan and details for our life better than our own.

Though its emotional to be leaving what we know (especially grandparents),

We are believing Him for this

next season in Norman, and are excited to see what's in store.

We will be moving the first of June,

(only 5 short weeks away!!)

I will share more about all this soon...

So thankful for you all, we love you so much!

Sharing what's on my heart today with other bloggy friends over here: