shaken.
/You may or may not know this,
but Oklahoma experienced several large Earthquakes last weekend,
(the epicenter was about 40 miles from us)
the largest being on Saturday night at about 10:45 PM.
it was a 5.6 magnitude quake, and the night before's was a 4.7.
(oh, and we had another 4.7 on Monday night)
Being from Texas, I have NEVER experienced anything like that before.
The first one on Friday literally shook me awake in my bed.
And then Saturday night,
I was upstairs washing my face for bed and all of the sudden
the floor started shaking under me...
I felt so dizzy and had to hold on to the counter for fear of falling over.
I immediately checked the monitor to see that Abigail was still fast asleep,
and then ran downstairs where my hubby and mother-in-law were watching TV.
Everything was swaying and rattling, the ceiling fan swinging back and forth,
and this terrible deep rumble from the core of the earth was just vibrating in my ears.
so so scary.
My first thoughts were to gather my family,
to make a safe place for them,
to pray, to tell people it will all be okay,
to tell people that they can know a loving man named Jesus
and that He will meet all their needs when they are scared.
And I needed to remember that myself.
It was literally only a few minutes of shaking, nothing even fell,
no damage was done, noone was hurt.
But my emotions and my heart were
SHAKEN.
Im telling you,
it took that short amount of time to literally shake me into fear.
And lots of "what-ifs"...
What if this is a terrorist attack?
What if the Earth opens up underneath us?
What if our house falls down on us?
What if I can't protect my family?
What if this lasts forever?
What if I die?
What if my family dies?
What if I never see my daughter's precious face again?
God has continued to shake me this week,
physically and emotionally.
We have experienced earthquake aftershocks every day,
some cant be felt but some, like this morning,
make you draw in your breath a little.
and it hasn't just been the Earth shaking me...
A lot has happened since yesterday.
and yesterday wasn't easy to begin with.
Waking up yesterday,
knowing it was the 1 year anniversary of my miscarriage,
was already difficult.
Then we received a call that one of my husband's friends from school
has lost his 10 -year-old son the night before,
due to an asthma attack.
just devastating.
I cannot believe we have to go to a funeral for someone so small this weekend.
I am heartbroken for their family.
*the little boy had a twin sister, please keep her in your prayers*
A few hours after that, my best friend from Dallas called me to
pray for her daughter
(she's just 2 months older than Abigail).
She was taking her into the pediatrician due to some weird symptoms going on.
She called me back an hour later to tell me they were being sent
to check for a possible brain tumor or a seizure disorder...
something not good.
All I could do with her was cry.
And pray.
*we are still waiting to hear the results this afternoon from the tests,
and are praying for a miracle or a dr's wrong assumption of what is wrong.
Please, please pray.*
All this to say,
(today I am just pouring out my heart to you,
just being real about where I'm at in this moment)
I have been shaken by fear, by earthquakes, by loss,
by the enemy's lies.
I had nightmare after nightmare last night, of losing Abigail.
It is my biggest fear in life,
as I know any mommy would say the same.
Thankfully the Lord woke me up at 4:30 AM
and all I could do was walk around my house rebuking fear
and telling it to go back to where it came from.
And claiming Jesus's victorious blood
over all these situations.
And praying for me to trust Him with it all.
To remember that He is in control,
That He Loves me more than I think.
Please join me in prayer for
my husband's friend who has lost his son,
that they will see the compassion of Jesus as people
gather around them tomorrow at the service.
And please pray for my best friend,
and their precious little girl,
as we wait for an answer and to see what God is going to do.
And pray for me, for yourself, for your loved ones,
that we would all remember and recognize
the ONE who IS in control.
...because He loves us.
sharing our hearts here today:
