{on my heart}: fall, football, anger, and my health...

Happy Friday folks!

Haven't had a lot of time this week to blog like I wanted to, but thought I'd just share
a few random things that are on my heart and mind right now,
And hopefully in the next few weeks will share more in depth about it all.
that ok? ok. good. :)
thanks for listening.

First I have to say, I always knew I loved Fall, but for some reason this year...I am reeeeally loving it.
It's almost like the colors are more vibrant than before, or something.
Or maybe it's just the Lord allowing me to see the beauty of this season in a new way.
Whatever it is, I love it a lot.
(My yard is filled with leaves already that I have no intention of raking anytime soon because well,
it's just too pretty!)

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I think I also love Fall because of football.
Yes. I am a football-loving girl, especially for my Texas Aggies.
We are headed to College Station this weekend for the last home game which will be awesome and hopefully perfect weather.
There is NOTHING like being at a game at Kyle Field (if you've been there, you know), and my heart aches each game that we aren't there!
So, Saturday will be fun...
BTHO Mississippi State!
*also...yay Baylor for beating OU last night!*

On a more serious note,
I feel like the Lord is showing me the depth of the grieving process that I am going through.
It's actually been pretty eye-opening lately.
I look forward to writing more about this, but here's the gist...
For some reason, I thought that I would be somehow "exempt" from the
"Psychological Stages of the Grief Process",
but I am figuring out I am NOT.
I had been dealing with some pretty intense inner anger in the last month or so,
and during an emotional discussion with my husband about it,
he gently helped me see that what I am going through is completely normal.
He even looked up the "stages of grief", and we read through and talked through each one extensively.
It helped me see that indeed, I am in the midst of these stages.
I don't know why I thought I would deal with things differently than what the Psych books say...
and I'm not saying the the Holy Spirit can't help a believer move through parts of grieving differently than what man has defined it as...
but I also see now that there is reasoning behind the "stages" and that, for me, I am definitely going through them.
I'll share more about this soon.
I feel like the Lord may want to use my journey through raw grief to help others
know they are not alone.

Another big, more serious thing:
This week, I finished with 4 months of bloodwork and testing,
stemming from some crazy risks that came from my last miscarriage in July.
I have not shared about the health stuff here yet, but feel led to now.
I will do a longer post about it really soon, and will tell you shortly right now...
After this last miscarriage, we found out I had actually had a (Partial) Molar Pregnancy,
which we had never heard of.
It is basically where the tissue around the fetus forms into a tumor.
The tissue can then attach to the walls of your uterus and cause an aggressive, but treatable,
form of cancer.
The story of how this has all happened is crazy and scary and emotional,
and there's been lots of uncertainty...
but one thing that has remained: God has been with me!
So this week was the last of my bloodwork... and we got the word that I am in the clear now and there are no more risks to my health!
Deep breaths and praising Jesus. :)
And thanks to the few of you who knew, your prayers were felt the last several months!
I look forward to sharing more about my experience with this as well, because I have come to find a large group of women out there who have experienced this type of pregnancy and loss.
There are some small support groups but there needs to be even more support out there.

Another thing, health related...
trying to eat better. yikes. :)
It's been a tough year so motivation and commitment to eating and exercising have not been on the forefront...
but we started eating Paleo/Whole30 again this week and I'm already feeling a difference.
There have been a few hiccups, like birthday cake and wine for Parker's bday, (woops)
But overall, I can already tell my tummy and my energy are changing.
I'm not doing this myself to lose weight, but to feel healthier.
As I have shared before, I totally believe in the power of taking sugar out of the diet.
it's HUGE.
This weekend will be tough bc we will be roadtripping a lot, but Im trying to prepare some healthy snacks, but also prepare to give myself a little grace if I decide to have a beer at the last tailgate of the season.
As good as it is to be strict, it's also good to find balance, especially if you are wanting to make healthy eating a lifestyle and not just a quick diet.
All that to say, I'll be posting some of our favorite Paleo and Whole30 recipes around here again!
And you can follow my hashtag #sarahswhole30 on Insta or Twitter to see our journey.
If any of yall have some great Paleo recipes or meal ideas and want to guest post on here, just email me!!

OK well, I guess thats all for now.
Love you all and love sharing life with you here!
Have a great weekend!!