my heart is aching...continued prayer needed
/
I asked y'all last week to please pray.
(you can read that post here, to catch up on whats going on).
And I ask again today for continued prayer.
We have felt the prayers and are so so thankful for family and friends who have come around and loved on us and on my dad, and have been praying for us all.
Just wanted to update y'all.
I will try to just get out the facts before I get overly emotional and cant write this out.
- - - - - - - - - -
My dad remains about the same cognitively and physically...
very weak and pretty out of it and confused.
He does have some moments of responding to us and following commands. He even sat up in a chair the other day (with a lot of help) with the physical therapist, though it wore him out completely.
He still battles some agitation and combativeness, especially later in the day...I think he is mostly not aware when he is acting that way, but I think part of it is that he knows he is frustrated and cant express it like he wants to.
Unfortunately, we found out a few days ago that he has contracted Pneumonia. We thought we caught it quickly and it was being treated with antibiotics. But when they repeated a chest ex-ray this morning to check on it, they found another spot in his other lung.
We don't know if he caught it from being in the hospital, or from aspirating on food or saliva, which is very common in Parkinson's patients. Either way, it is not a good thing. For those of you who don't know, my dad is older, 77, and so this kind of sickness is just all the harder for him to fight off.
The major issue right now is that he is not eating. He passed a swallow study to confirm that he could swallow some soft things, but his interest and cognitive awareness to actually be able to eat, is just not there. He has had a nasal feeding tube at times throughout this stay, but is is not doing enough and giving him enough nutrition. I have been begging with God for it to not get to the point of him needing a stomach feeding tube, as that is just not a way to live.
Really, none of this is a way to live. He is not himself. Though I don't think he's really in pain, I think that he is just frustrated with feeling helpless. That kills me. just kills me.
so how you can pray:
1. for complete healing, whatever that looks like.
(my prayer has been for God to give him FULL healing, whether that is here or at home in Heaven...I do not want this life for him, of living undignified and miserable and unable to be himself. I want it to be one extreme or the other)
2. for guidance as we make decisions about his eating and nutrition, and for him to regain strength from this however that works out.
3. for a longer-term plan to just work out, if need be. For peace for my mom as she makes those decisions, and for the provision to do what is needed.
4. for peace for my dad. Inner peace that passes understanding.
5. for peace and comfort for my mom as she watches her best friend and husband of 40 years go through this. Pray for sleep for her too, please.
Thanks yall. I will keep you posted as the week goes on.
Your prayers and thoughts are so very appreciated. Seriously, thank you.
- - - - - - - - - -
I have cried more this week than I think I ever have. It just comes out of the blue.
I have a pit in my stomach that wont go away, and am battling anxiety in every way.
We have been through loss in our life, unfortunately, but this feels different.
And even though my dad is still here, I still feel as if I am grieving because this is so awful to watch.
When I had my miscarriage, it was more just like darkness.
When we lost Parker's dad, we just had to kind of bow up and deal with it because it was so sudden and tragic.
This time, I feel like it is just plain hard. And I am just plain sad.
My heat aches.
I will leave on this note, and if you know my dad, you know this is true.
He loves his Savior. He loves that he was redeemed, and speaks of that often.
So I am choosing to believe right now, in the midst of my own sadness, that his Jesus who he loves so much, is bringing him comfort right now.
I have to believe that.
Thanks for praying y'all.
(you can read that post here, to catch up on whats going on).
And I ask again today for continued prayer.
We have felt the prayers and are so so thankful for family and friends who have come around and loved on us and on my dad, and have been praying for us all.
Just wanted to update y'all.
I will try to just get out the facts before I get overly emotional and cant write this out.
- - - - - - - - - -
My dad remains about the same cognitively and physically...
very weak and pretty out of it and confused.
He does have some moments of responding to us and following commands. He even sat up in a chair the other day (with a lot of help) with the physical therapist, though it wore him out completely.
He still battles some agitation and combativeness, especially later in the day...I think he is mostly not aware when he is acting that way, but I think part of it is that he knows he is frustrated and cant express it like he wants to.
Unfortunately, we found out a few days ago that he has contracted Pneumonia. We thought we caught it quickly and it was being treated with antibiotics. But when they repeated a chest ex-ray this morning to check on it, they found another spot in his other lung.
We don't know if he caught it from being in the hospital, or from aspirating on food or saliva, which is very common in Parkinson's patients. Either way, it is not a good thing. For those of you who don't know, my dad is older, 77, and so this kind of sickness is just all the harder for him to fight off.
The major issue right now is that he is not eating. He passed a swallow study to confirm that he could swallow some soft things, but his interest and cognitive awareness to actually be able to eat, is just not there. He has had a nasal feeding tube at times throughout this stay, but is is not doing enough and giving him enough nutrition. I have been begging with God for it to not get to the point of him needing a stomach feeding tube, as that is just not a way to live.
Really, none of this is a way to live. He is not himself. Though I don't think he's really in pain, I think that he is just frustrated with feeling helpless. That kills me. just kills me.
so how you can pray:
1. for complete healing, whatever that looks like.
(my prayer has been for God to give him FULL healing, whether that is here or at home in Heaven...I do not want this life for him, of living undignified and miserable and unable to be himself. I want it to be one extreme or the other)
2. for guidance as we make decisions about his eating and nutrition, and for him to regain strength from this however that works out.
3. for a longer-term plan to just work out, if need be. For peace for my mom as she makes those decisions, and for the provision to do what is needed.
4. for peace for my dad. Inner peace that passes understanding.
5. for peace and comfort for my mom as she watches her best friend and husband of 40 years go through this. Pray for sleep for her too, please.
Thanks yall. I will keep you posted as the week goes on.
Your prayers and thoughts are so very appreciated. Seriously, thank you.
- - - - - - - - - -
I have cried more this week than I think I ever have. It just comes out of the blue.
I have a pit in my stomach that wont go away, and am battling anxiety in every way.
We have been through loss in our life, unfortunately, but this feels different.
And even though my dad is still here, I still feel as if I am grieving because this is so awful to watch.
When I had my miscarriage, it was more just like darkness.
When we lost Parker's dad, we just had to kind of bow up and deal with it because it was so sudden and tragic.
This time, I feel like it is just plain hard. And I am just plain sad.
My heat aches.
I will leave on this note, and if you know my dad, you know this is true.
He loves his Savior. He loves that he was redeemed, and speaks of that often.
So I am choosing to believe right now, in the midst of my own sadness, that his Jesus who he loves so much, is bringing him comfort right now.
I have to believe that.
Thanks for praying y'all.
