one of the scariest moments in my life.

I want to share one of the scariest moments in my life with you today.
and also about the supernatural protection God provided.

I feel led to share it here because I KNOW the Lord is prompting
me to write about FEAR on this blog.
About my battle with it, and about how HE has given me freedom from the chains it used to keep me in.

I will be very detailed here because I want you to be able to see God's hand in it as I now do...
and I pray that if you read this it would NOT cause you to fear yourself, but instead it would encourage you regarding God's protection.


One morning in July 2010, I was sleeping in the guest bed in Abigail's nursery, and she was sleeping in an inclined rocker near the bed (she slept in that to help her reflux).

I usually wore my contacts to bed for weeks at a time so I could see when I got up to nurse Abigail. But my eyes had needed a break the night before, so I took them out.

That morning, I woke up, and because I could not see Abigail very well with no contacts in,
I thought to myself that I needed to pull her rocker closer to me.
And in that instant I also had one of those mommy moments where
I just wanted her to be close.
So I reached over and slid her right up to the side of the bed,
as far up as it could go so that I could see her.
She was still sound asleep, so I went back to sleep too.

literally LESS than 5 minutes later,
the loudest crash I think I've ever heard woke me up. Abigail started screaming and so did I.

The ceiling fan had literally COME OUT of the ceiling, and fallen to the floor...
the light, the fan, the wires, the motor...ALL of it.
Glass, wood, and metal in a heavy heap on the floor.

RIGHT where Abigail had been sleeping not 5 minutes before.
I don't need to tell you what 50 pounds of ceiling fan
could have done if it had landed on my tiny baby girl.


Though the edge of one fan blade hit Abigail's sleeper,
she was perfectly fine...just completely scared and screaming, as was I.
Needless to say it took me a long time to get over this (and to trust using a fan again).
Fear crept (well, fell really) into my heart.
But here is where I want to point out the AMAZING protection of the Lord.
Had my eyes not been tired, I wouldn't have taken my contacts out.
Had I not taken my contacts out, I would not have been unable to see Abigail,
Had I not been unable to see her, I never would have moved her sleeper.
And had I not moved her from where she was...

But I haven't told you (shown you) the most amazing part of this story.
The DAY BEFORE this happened, we were at a 1 year old birthday party and my friend Jessi took a picture of me and Abigail.

This picture is not edited in any way, her camera was working just fine, and no other pictures came out like this.

I don't know if you believe in the supernatural, and in the Lord's protective angels...but we do.
And after this picture was taken, we KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord had already summoned His angels to protect our little girl
from what would happen the next day.


crazy, right? or not.
just plain God, that's what we think.
Oh I am in tears as I write about this and see this picture. God is SO good.

The point in sharing this with you in regards to fear, is that my desire is to live
expectant that God will protect.
I believe that as humans, protection is one of the main fears we struggle with.
I want to live in expectation that He will orchestrate HIS plans in my (and my children's) best interest, because He loves me.

"For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.
they will life you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone..."
Psalm 91:11


I have spoken with several of my good friends just this week, and read several blog posts lately about it...and it seems like all of us have been battling fear.
And It's unfortunately kind of a "given" when you are a mother, that you will feel even more fear about loss, sickness, injury, heartache, etc for your child...

But I'm on a journey to believing that it doesn't have to be our mode of operation.
I'm LIVING proof that there is freedom from the prison of fear.
I look forward to sharing more of my testimony with you about this.

I am going to begin a "series" about fear every Thursday on this blog.
Just about my journey and battle with it.
It is a powerful spirit that is NOT from the Lord.
It is one that I lived with for WAY too long, to the point of making me physically sick.

And I want freedom for YOU too.
Maybe through the power in testimony, we can walk through this battle of fear together.

{linking up here.}