honoring my Dad, and wiping some tears

"Hi, I am Sarah, John’s daughter. 

First of all, I cannot express my gratitude to you all for being here to celebrate my Dad’s life today. Thank you.

As if you didn’t already know, being an Aggie was a huge part of my Dad’s life.  It quickly became a huge part of my own, because my Dad’s enthusiasm about anything Aggie was just infectious.

Literally, I think I was singing “Hullaballoo” and yelling “Farmer’s Fight” by the time I was 3, having no idea what I was saying. But I did it with all my gusto and all my pride…because I wanted to be like my Daddy.

I spent almost every birthday growing up at the Bonfire, as it often ended up on my birthday weekend. Dad and I would often travel after Thanksgiving dinner down to College Station for the big TU weekend. I remember sitting on top of my Dad’s shoulders to watch them light the bonfire, thinking I had the best view because my dad was so tall.

From a young age, he taught me the war hymn, taught me how to wave my 12th man towel, and that I couldn’t walk on the grass or wear a hat in the MSC. We have sat in the same seats my entire life, and it gives me chills when I sit in them each year, because of the memories I have there. My times at Kyle Field with my dad are some of my fondest memories in my life.

I want to point something out here though, about my Dad.

While all those things at A&M were so important to him, he never once “pushed” it on me.  

I simply wanted to do those things, be a part of all that, because it was important to him.

He made it easy to love what he loved, because he was so incredibly genuine about it.  

And to me, that is the theme of his life as a dad and as a man of faith.

I once gave my dad a Father’s Day card that I always think about, and have expressed to him again through the years. 

It read “You make it so easy to know the Father’s love so well, because YOU have loved me so well.”

Like his love for Texas A&M, my Dad’s love for his Lord was just something sweet and infectious to be around. It drew people in, and I believe will continue to draw people to God, even after he is gone.

My dad did a lot for me. 

Things and sacrifices I recognize even more so now that I am a parent myself.

He sat through countless, and I mean countless, dance recitals and competitions, drill team shows, and Friday night football halftimes.  

He had me in a bright orange vest at a very young age, taking me dove and quail hunting each year with our birddogs. 

(and I assure you Ags…that was the ONLY time I was really allowed to wear orange!) 

He drove our family to Colorado many summers to stay at my uncle’s place in Crested Butte, where we made amazing family memories together. 

And he always kissed my mom when he walked in the door from work each evening, 

which I loved so much.

But the greatest thing my dad did for me, was to show me what a relationship with Jesus looked like. 

A real relationship…not a religion. 

Not a have-to-go-to-church, have-to-do-good, have-to-appear-a-certain-way relationship…because that is not really a relationship. 

But what I saw in my dad was the intimate connection he had with his Jesus. 

With his Savior. A trust in a personal God who would not fail him.

My dad appreciated God’s mercy and spoke of it often, recognizing that he would not be who he was without Jesus’s sacrifice for him.

My Dad’s humble posture to the Lord is what drew people to him

And what people recognized at the sweet gentle spirit in my dad…It was Jesus in him.

My heart hurts…truly aches…that my dad wont be sitting in his favorite chair, answering the phone when I call, going to A&M games with me, or holding my little girls in his lap anymore. 

But I am assured that He is experiencing joy indescribable and amazing peace right now as he walks, with perfect, un-parkinson’s, balance with his Lord.

I want to end with this, some precious words my sweet Abigail shared with me during all of this.  Keep in mind she had no idea that her beloved Hop might be going to Heaven soon, and we really didn't know yet either.

One night while Hop was still in the hospital, I asked her to pray with me for Hop, to which she replied, 

“What’s Jesus saying to Hop right now?”. 

I said “I don’t know, what is He saying to Hop?”.  

She paused and thought about it, and then said “Jesus is saying for Hop to come Home.”. 

That took my breath away, but then I said “oh wow, what else is Jesus saying to Hop right now?” Abigail said “Jesus is saying that God wants Hop to come to His house in Heaven”.

Out of the mouths of babes, right?

Her little spirit was being prepared, and the words of a three year old have brought me more comfort, knowing without a doubt, that Jesus had been preparing a way for my Dad...

to come Home to His House in Heaven."

 

 

Those are the words I spoke at my Dad's funeral, just 2 1/2 years ago. I wanted to honor him again this Father's Day by sharing it here. (you can read the whole post about his funeral here. It was a beautiful and God-honoring celebration of my Dad's life)

My Dad was an amazing man. He was a man of integrity and love and service to others. He was the most humble man I have ever know. Not an ounce of pride in his bones.  Even through physical and mental deterioration, he smiled, kept going, and relied on God.

Father's Day stirs it up a bit for me, as I am sure it does for many who have lost their fathers.

Those feelings of grief and waves of tears seem to come a little more easily when holidays roll around, especially one that was made to celebrate them. This week has followed suit, and i have found myself getting a little choked up here and there. But that's ok. It's just part of missing someone you love.

I really didn't have much point right now other than to encourage others who might be missing their Daddy this week. Just to say "I'm with you".

so, I am with you, friend. I feel your heartache and hurt, and relate to the longing you have for just one more hug or conversation with your Dad.

My prayer is that you would feel wrapped up in your Heavenly Father's Love in those moments. And that you would feel so loved on and taken care of today.

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I am also sharing a post over on Thrive Moms today, about what a Good Dad we have. Go check it out, I hope you will be blessed.

"That's My King"

My husband reminded me tonight of this powerful sermon we heard a long time ago. The recording of it was played at a dear friend's funeral, and it made a lasting impact. You may have heard this before, it is a sermon from years ago by an old Pastor, Dr. S.M. Lockridge.

I don't usually post stuff like this, but for some reason felt really led to. Maybe you need to hear it today. I know I did.

Just sit back, listen...and ponder the beautiful descriptions of our indescribable God. And then listen again.

I get chills every time, especially towards the end.

Be reminded of WHO HE IS in your life.

(Official video from the creator.) Watch the High Definition version here in full 1080p: http://youtu.be/ZKsN-AeqJP0 Visuals set to the audio of the famous sermon "Seven Way King" (aka That's My King) as spoken by Dr. S.M. Lockridge. The audio is slightly edited for a better flow in the video.

Rest

I keep wanting to write something new, something "different" than what keeps coming to my heart and head. I don't want to sound like a broken record to what is written so many times in so many places...

But it's like He just won't let me focus on anything different. It has to be this:

REST.

Photo by OJO Images/OJO Images / Getty Images
Photo by OJO Images/OJO Images / Getty Images

 

For some reason when I hear the word "rest" I get irritated. I don't know why really, (maybe I need some in my life? ha!)  I think it is because I hear it over and over... "Rest in HIM.", "Have REAL Rest", "Seek Rest"...that I have lost the meaning a little bit.

And so when I hear it, I feel deep down that I don't have it. Or like it is one more Verb in my life. One more thing I must figure out how to do. But it's not. 

And it may be talked about a lot, but oooooh, I need it y'all.  I need that over-sermonized, over-blogged, over-encouraged thing called REST.

(see, maybe it's not so overdone after all, right? Apparently it needs to be talks about for me!)

Obviously you probably realize I am not talking about sleep or naps. Which let's be honest, would help my life immensely right now. But I am talking about Peace. I am talking about the kind of rest that comes from God alone.

The kind of rest that comes from knowing my life is not in my own control.

The kind of rest that knows no matter how much i screw up, I am loved.

The kind of rest that understands the meaning of "unconditional".

Why does it feel like this kind of rest in our minds is so far out of reach? As a wife or a mom or a business woman, or whatever we are, the constant demands for our attention and affection can push Rest to the side. I mean, who adds "rest" to their to-do list or writes it into their weekly planner?

For me personally, I feel like I am needed 24-7 in this season of raising three little people,  including one who nurses all through the night. So, when I do have my thoughts to myself (rarely), it's hard to shut things down and "think about Rest". My mind is usually still just consumed and running.

So what I think I am supposed to be learning is this...

Rest doesn't equal stillness.

It's like how my husband and I have been learning that Peace doesn't equal the absence of hard things. But instead, Peace is the presence of Him.

So, If God IS peace, and if He is in me...then guess what? I have peace!

So, that means that in the midst of, not just in the absence of, chaos...I can have peace!

Same with Rest. It's no different than peace, really. I don't have to have a quiet or still house to be able to Rest. It's something that comes from an acknowledgement that I am not in control.  Isn't that relieving yall?

For me, Rest feels like letting a deep breath go. A deep, burden-releasing breath.  Inviting the Holy Spirit to just be with me no matter what I am doing...that's Rest.

I can be standing washing dishes, reading to my littles, planning out business ideas, or doing the 17th load of laundry that day...and still have Rest. I can commune with the One who is Rest.

It's a 24-7 gig that I have right now. But Rest is a 24-7 answer.

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(Consider this a "part one". :) This is an ongoing thing God is speaking to me about, so stay tuned for more...there is a lot more to learn for me. Thanks for processing with me.)