I keep wanting to write something new, something "different" than what keeps coming to my heart and head. I don't want to sound like a broken record to what is written so many times in so many places...
But it's like He just won't let me focus on anything different. It has to be this:
For some reason when I hear the word "rest" I get irritated. I don't know why really, (maybe I need some in my life? ha!) I think it is because I hear it over and over... "Rest in HIM.", "Have REAL Rest", "Seek Rest"...that I have lost the meaning a little bit.
And so when I hear it, I feel deep down that I don't have it. Or like it is one more Verb in my life. One more thing I must figure out how to do. But it's not.
And it may be talked about a lot, but oooooh, I need it y'all. I need that over-sermonized, over-blogged, over-encouraged thing called REST.
(see, maybe it's not so overdone after all, right? Apparently it needs to be talks about for me!)
Obviously you probably realize I am not talking about sleep or naps. Which let's be honest, would help my life immensely right now. But I am talking about Peace. I am talking about the kind of rest that comes from God alone.
The kind of rest that comes from knowing my life is not in my own control.
The kind of rest that knows no matter how much i screw up, I am loved.
The kind of rest that understands the meaning of "unconditional".
Why does it feel like this kind of rest in our minds is so far out of reach? As a wife or a mom or a business woman, or whatever we are, the constant demands for our attention and affection can push Rest to the side. I mean, who adds "rest" to their to-do list or writes it into their weekly planner?
For me personally, I feel like I am needed 24-7 in this season of raising three little people, including one who nurses all through the night. So, when I do have my thoughts to myself (rarely), it's hard to shut things down and "think about Rest". My mind is usually still just consumed and running.
So what I think I am supposed to be learning is this...
Rest doesn't equal stillness.
It's like how my husband and I have been learning that Peace doesn't equal the absence of hard things. But instead, Peace is the presence of Him.
So, If God IS peace, and if He is in me...then guess what? I have peace!
So, that means that in the midst of, not just in the absence of, chaos...I can have peace!
Same with Rest. It's no different than peace, really. I don't have to have a quiet or still house to be able to Rest. It's something that comes from an acknowledgement that I am not in control. Isn't that relieving yall?
For me, Rest feels like letting a deep breath go. A deep, burden-releasing breath. Inviting the Holy Spirit to just be with me no matter what I am doing...that's Rest.
I can be standing washing dishes, reading to my littles, planning out business ideas, or doing the 17th load of laundry that day...and still have Rest. I can commune with the One who is Rest.
It's a 24-7 gig that I have right now. But Rest is a 24-7 answer.
- - - - - - - - - -
(Consider this a "part one". :) This is an ongoing thing God is speaking to me about, so stay tuned for more...there is a lot more to learn for me. Thanks for processing with me.)