videos, yall.

{just a couple fun videos for yall's viewing pleasure today.}
I clearly love to show off my girls in any way possible,
But I promise you will think these are cute too...even if you aren't one of their adoring grandparents. :)

1.
Bethany super proud of herself for pulling up for the first time:



2.
Abigail doing a little tapping at dance class = so cute. 
Oh and you cant hear it well, but they are tapping to "umpa lumpa". 
which obviously makes this even cuter. :)
(Abigail is in the light pink tu tu)




Hope those made you smile.
(and sorry if you now have Umpa Lumpa in your head)
Have a good day yall!

random stuff on my heart. and a rant or two.

sooo.

i just havent been feeling the blogging thing lately.
I mean, i feel it. (clearly, I just redid my blog design!)
But I just have been tossing around so much in my head to share, or not to share,
that when I sit down to actually write a post, I get a little overwhelmed so I just shut it down.

I have said it before, but I don't ever want to share out of just myself, if that makes sense.
At least about the "deeper" things"...
I only ever want to share as the Lord leads me.

It is the Lord's to use and to speak through and to challenge me through.
And to build community through and to bless others through...
and to bless HIM.

ANYwho...I thought I'd just write out some randoms on my heart right now, while the girls are napping away. :) some pretty serious, some just random. Thanks for listening.

random #1. I am wanting to hear His voice more clearly than ever, and I am hearing Him speak more clearly now. It is refreshing to know He is listening to me too.

random #2. I am excited for the holidays, and for sweet time with family and friends that we dont see often.
and for the yummy food.

random #3. my eating has been terrible lately, mainly bc I had a switch in some medicines. I still attempt to eat Paleo probably about 50% of the time, but I really want and need it to be more! And i need to work out but havent in forever. I miss it terribly, but just havent made the effort. :(

random #4. on that note, I am going to be doing a "recommitment" to Whole30 eating in the next few days, and will talk about it on my blog again...so if you want to join in, get ready! I need the encouragement too!

rant #1. I am saddened by the "mold" that so many believers put themselves in bc it is the "christian" way to act or talk. UGH.  I even just saw a video making fun of this!!
I have often wondered if I should blog about this issue,  but haven't. I don't want to hurt people, and also I haven't because I am the first to admit that I fall into it sometimes. I do.
But it is just amazing to me how FLESHLY we can act while trying to act Godly. And how people don't even realize what they (we) are doing.
All I can say right now is this: BE REAL. BE WHO GOD MADE YOU TO BE. quit acting because everyone around you acts that way or tells you you should. God made you YOU for a reason.
{ahem. may be a post coming about this soon.}  OK that little random rant is over. deep breath. :)

rant #2. on that note, and sorry for another rant about faith stuff, but I just have to say it. I am utterly disgusted at how a particular big name church where I am from has treated people I know. People I am close to and love. It is actually pretty appalling at the reasons they have given for treating these people a certain way, and it is NOT the way JESUS would love on people. And yes, i do know the whole story. Even more than I am disgusted, I am saddened. I am not only saddened for the people affected, but just as much for the people who have no idea that the church they pretty much idolize is acting in such ways.

rant #2 cont'd. (woah, a lot I know.) and i am fully aware that this happens at LOTS of churches, but this is just one instance where it has affected someone very close to me and I am so sad. ALSO, I am fully aware that churches are made up of PEOPLE. Fleshly, sinful people. So aware of this. But still saddened and angered that this has happened.

{{I am also fully aware that I am a sinful fleshly person and I am not trying to cast stones here. Just talking. I continue to pray for restoration and healing for all parties involved}}

thats all about that. sorry. whew.
ok back to happy.

random #wherewasi oh yeah #5. I am so so glad Parenthood is back on tonight! It is our favorite show hands down. I have missed it so much with all the election stuff taking over prime time in the last month. Thank God that's over. Well, kindof. hmmm.

random #6. I am SO excited it is getting cold. I love cold weather, even though I dont really do well with it. But I love the hats, gloves, scarves, etc!!  brrrrrr. :)

random #7. I continue to be amazed by my little family every day and by the love God has given in my life. I feel overwhelmingly blessed these days. I cannot believe how big the girls are right now. We are coming up on 3 and 1 for birthdays, which just blows my mind.

random #8. speaing of birthdays, I officially have like 2 weeks left until I enter another decade. (it starts with the number 3). ugh! But thats ok...I welcome it and the new adventures another year brings!

random #9. I am thankful for yall. For the encouragement I receive through this blogging thing. I am always blown away by the responses, emails, and love that I get to be a part of. I love yall!!!  Thanks for doing life with me here.


ok I think that's all I got right now.

Hope y'all have a fabulous evening!!!

sharing again about a scary moment in my life...


I feel like I've talked to several people lately who are battling fear of unknown,
and even fear of what IS known, but they just don't know how to trust God in the midst of it.

I believe He laid it on my heart to share this today,
It is a repost from a long time ago,
but hopefully the Lord will allow my heart to fall upon new ears, or be a reminder.

A reminder that He IS with you,
and that He is looking out for you, even if you don't know you need it.

- - - - - - - - - -

"One of the scariest moments of my life"

I feel led to share it here because I KNOW the Lord is prompting
me to write about FEAR on this blog.
About my battle with it, and about how HE has given me freedom from the chains it used to keep me in.

I will be very detailed here because I want you to be able to see God's hand in it as I now do...
and I pray that if you read this it would NOT cause you to fear yourself, but instead it would encourage you regarding God's protection.

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One morning in July 2010, I was sleeping in the guest bed in Abigail's nursery, and she was sleeping in an inclined rocker near the bed
(she slept in that to help her reflux).

I usually wore my contacts to bed for weeks at a time so I could see when I got up to nurse Abigail.
But my eyes had needed a break the night before, so I took them out.

That morning, I woke up, and because I could not see Abigail very well with no contacts in,
I thought to myself that I needed to pull her rocker closer to me, to be able to see her better.
But I didn't do it just yet, and kindof went back to sleep.
(I later came to believe this was just God preparing me to hear His prompting)

And in the next instant I just had this "instinct" (aka GOD)
that I just wanted her to be next to me, so I could just sense my little girl close.
So I reached over and slid her right up to the side of the bed,
as far up as it could go so that I could see her.
She was still sound asleep, so I went back to sleep again too.

literally LESS than 5 minutes later,
the loudest crash I think I've ever heard woke me up. Abigail started screaming and so did I.

The ceiling fan had literally COME OUT of the ceiling, and fallen to the floor.
The light, the fan, the wires, the motor...ALL of it. seriously.
Glass, wood, and metal in a heavy heap on the floor.

RIGHT where Abigail had been sleeping not 5 minutes before.
I don't need to tell you what 50 pounds of ceiling fan
could have done if it had landed on my tiny baby girl.

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Though the edge of one fan blade hit Abigail's sleeper,
she was perfectly fine...just completely scared and screaming, as was I.
Needless to say it took me a long time to get over this (and to trust using a fan again).
Fear crept (well, fell really) into my heart.
But here is where I want to point out the AMAZING protection of the Lord.
Had my eyes not been tired, I wouldn't have taken my contacts out.
Had I not taken my contacts out, I would not have been unable to see Abigail,
Had I not been unable to see her, I never would have moved her sleeper, and been prepared to have a feeling like i wanted her to be closer to me.
Had I not followed "mommy instinct" in me to want to feel her close to me...
And had I not moved her from where she was...

- - - - - - -
(wait, there's more)

I haven't told you (shown you) the most amazing part of this story.
The DAY BEFORE this happened, we were at a 1 year old birthday party and my friend Jessi took a picture of me and Abigail.

This picture is not edited in any way, her camera was working just fine, and no other pictures came out like this.

I don't know if you believe in the supernatural, and in the Lord's protective angels...but we do.
And after this picture was taken, we KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord had already summoned
His angels to protect our little girl
from what would happen the next day when the fan would fall.

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crazy, right? or not.
just plain God, that's what we think.
Oh I am in tears as I write about this and see this picture. God is SO good.

The point in sharing this with you in regards to fear, is that my desire is
to live expectant that God will protect.
I believe that as humans, protection is one of the main fears we struggle with.
I want to live in expectation that He will orchestrate HIS plans in my (and my children's) best interest, because He loves me.

"For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.
they will life you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone..."
Psalm 91:11

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- - - - - - - - - - -

whew. I am always blown away at the goodness of God when I remember what happened.
Parker has to remind me of this story sometimes when I am tempted to fear involving my children.
or really, when I am tempted to fear anything.
He reminds me that even when I was ASLEEP, God provided protection by waking me and giving me the feelings He did.

So I guess I felt led to share this again today because
I have a strong sense in my spirit that someone needs to read this...
Someone needs to KNOW that God IS capable of supernatural protection.
Someone needs to remember that He is trustworthy.
Someone needs to know that even if YOU have no idea you need to protect, prevent, or defend something,
HE does.
He already knew, and already knows, exactly what is needed.
He has your and your family's best interest at heart.
He is good.