shining on the dirt.

 

There's a window in our house that the sun shines through really brightly, too brightly,
at about the 5:00 hour in Spring.
I usually close the shade on it because it gets almost blinding at certain points.
But the other day, I left it open.
I don't know if it was because I just didn't get around to closing it, or if it was that I just felt like I needed the house to feel open after a long day, or what.
So there came the sun, blasting through, in a blinding yellow beam right through my house.

It was the time of day, before hubby comes home, that I usually try to start cleaning up a bit...
sweep and vacuum, etc. so that he can come home to a (somewhat) put-together house after a stressful day at work. So I got out the broom and went to sweep the dining room, which is always the place most ridden with goldfish or shredded cheese or whatever was consumed by little people that day.

That's when I saw it.
ALL the dirt and dust glaring at me as that bright window light shone on it.
I couldn't believe how much the light showed.
It even made me say "eww" to myself.
And then it hit me.
I never usually have that window open and this light shining in here...
so i must be missing so much dirt and mess every other time!
(sigh, frown.)



There was just something about that specific kind of light.
That bright, yellowy, cover-your-eyes kind of light...
that showed the littlest particles that needed cleaning.
The stuff my normal overhead light doesn't allow me to see.

Then my spirit started to feel moved, like the Lord was about to speak.
And He did.
He showed me what a literal picture this was about letting light shine in the darkness.
Letting light I am not normally comfortable with...pour through MY windows.

It's something He has been speaking to us about lately,
Bringing things into the light that don't need to stay in the dark.

And what I saw here? when you can SEE them, they can be cleaned.
in other words,  those things, those dirty, hard things...
can be healed, forgiven, and set free when they don't stay in the dark anymore.



His heart for me, for you, is for our hearts and minds to be SO FREE of dirt and clutter and mess
that we have room to FEEL free.
To walk in that peace that actually does surpass understanding.
To be rid of shame, anger, lust, jealousy, judgement, etc.
Whatever it is that is clouding our hearts.
Things that you may not even KNOW are clouding your hearts and minds.

..until you let some light shine on it.

I have witnessed it in my own life and in some lives close to me...
when things are brought into the light, sometimes it hurts like hell.
You know why?
Because a lot of times, it IS from hell.
It is NOT of the Lord's will for us, and so when we live in it, it hurts us.
And when we try to get free...if we don't do it with the Lord's help, and try to control it ourselves... it's gonna keep hurting.

How can we let light in?
That kind of light that can show us exactly the mess we might be missing,
that would actually bring us more freedom and closer to Him and to who we know we are meant to be?



first of all, and I think the most important...
we have to start from a place of believing Him.
I didn't say Believe IN Him.
BELIEVE Him.

That what He says about you is true.
That what He has promised is true.
That His character and His nature is GOOD.
Always.

Because when we believe that, we can trust He will see us through when we start working through the junk. That there will be another side.

Surround yourself with things that bring you LIFE.
Pour into Truth.
Talk to friends who you know will be honest with you and ask hard questions.
Be open with your spouse if you are married.
Ask for help from others in the same season as you.

Just start thinking about this at least.
About what in your life might need some freedom.

And remind yourself that it might feel really great to let some uncomfortable, and perhaps even a little bit blinding, light in...
because full freedom is totally worth it.

- - - - - - - - - -

(more discussion to come on the process of letting light in...I think this is a good starter to remind us that there may be some spots in our hearts that need cleaning. I am excited to work through this... start asking yourself and the Lord what places in your heart might need some more freedom.)

homemade yogurt bites

 

Hope in Heaven

Abigail randomly asked me today if I remembered the fallen little bird one of her teachers had rescued from the playground a few weeks ago. It had had a broken leg and they were going to try and get it some help. I never knew the end of the story.

I told her I remembered...and then she informed me that the baby bird had gone to Heaven.

I asked her if that made her sad.

She pondered and took a deep breath.

"A little bit sad, but mainly happy."

I asked what made her happy, and her response was precious. and moving to my spirit.

"I was happy because I didn't want him to have a broken leg. 

In Heaven, he can just be whole."

// amen. amen. amen. 

Thank you Jesus for this precious reminder through my baby girl all because of a baby bird... 

we ARE whole in your presence in Heaven. No broken anything. Praise you God! //

Obviously I wanted this conversation to keep going, 

so we talked about how her Hop (my dad) is in Heaven, and she chimed in saying that she remembers her Memaw telling her that Hop was healthy now because he was in Heaven.

// another sweet reminder I needed to hear as I have missed my Dad lately. Thank you Jesus that he is literally ALIVE and fellowshipping with you and all the Saints there right now, and that he is free from sickness! //

She asked a few more incredible questions that I will share another time.

Amazingly prophetic and encouraging perceptions about Heaven that I am still stirring over.

- - - - - - - - - -

I stand amazed writing this out, that He has deposited such truth into this little girl.

And her unwavering obedience to listen to His spirit inside of her is so pure and innocent.

She doesn't even know that's what it is, really. 

She just trusts the peace she feels in her answers.

So untouched by the enemy at this point in her life.

Faith that is so unhindered by lies and distractions around her.

Faith from HIM alone.

// we pray that she will always air on the side of faith in her life, today and in her future. //

Faith her mama needed to hear.

The TRUTH of some huge things...

Our bodies and hearts, no matter how broken this side of Heaven....because of Jesus...

they are made WHOLE and COMPLETE and HEALED after death on Earth.

So really....death on Earth isn't death at all.

did you get that, whoever you are reading this?!

did you hear it?

THIS is not the end.

This space and this body and this life are not IT.

When you believe Him...

you KEEP LIVING.

You don't die.

You live in perfect health, perfect peace, perfect community, perfect LOVE.

Beyond perfect.

And that gives me HOPE, not just about my own day to come someday,

but to picture that my loved ones are there, in a perfect place...brings such comfort and hope.

My Dad, Parker's Dad, our three babies, Parker's godfather, all of our grandparents, friends...

they are literally living right now. 

Death did not end their lives.

"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying "Look, God's home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Revelation 21:3

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died, so that you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died." 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (and keep reading on!)

So, if you are grieving, if you are dreading a coming loss, if you are just searching...

keep seeking the TRUTH of this.
Because yes, we do feel sad. We do ache in the midst of loss.
But the REALITY is?
We can have hope too.
And even be a little "happy", like Abigail was.

And that, through Jesus, we are made whole and that we do keep on living.

And that we will all live again together one day.

Be encouraged.

Have hope in this.

Hope in Him.

on blogging and knowing me.

It's just been tough to sit down, muster the energy and focus and direction from the Lord to blog lately.
Blogging, for me, it's not my business, it's not something I make money from or use to self-promote.
It's just simply a place I have felt lead to share life.
To share anything from what we ate for dinner, to the stories of my miscarriages, to asking for prayer, to just some sweet picture of my kids.
I love sharing stuff here.
And I love the times when I know God has used my blogging to encourage others..when I get an email from a stranger or a long-ago friend who is dealing with something similar...it's pretty amazing to see the connections happen, all because I typed out a story that I didn't feel was my own to keep.

Anyways, all that to say...as much as I love to do life here, it just hasn't been a priority.
.
For lots of reasons...my girls are in needy stages at 2 and 4, my energies have been zapped by random things, my spiritual focuses have been on absorbing messages lately through podcasts, my hubby has needed me a lot through a tough season of demanding work and pressing into the Lord together.
So...by the time naptime or bedtime comes, I am either still focused on one of those things...or I am just done for the day.

And I go through these seasons, and I am sure some people get frustrated by that...(but thankfully, there are a TON of amazing writers out there that blog every single day, so there is no lack of things to read!)

And while yes, I would love to be more consistent in blogging...I can only do with it what God has put in front of me to do, if that makes sense.
And lately...He has had me lay it to the side.

My heart in blogging has always been to be honest and open, as HE leads.
And I just have felt I would be pushing something that wasnt there, drumming something up just to have some "content"...and that just doesnt gel with how I want to be here in my space.
I'm not saying I am against a "fluff" blog post, as some might call it, and by no means do I think people want to read super deep stuff every single time they click on a blog...but do you know what I mean?
I just want to be completely "in it" whenever I write something from my heart.
I feel like I owe that to myself, and to those who read this.

But right now, in this moment and in this week, let me share with you where I'm at.
I am feeling a pull to be vulnerable once again here, maybe even moreso than ever before.
I am feeling almost a NEED, not just a desire, to share more about who I am...what is valuable to me, my experiences, my every day ups and my every day downs. my gains and my losses.

And in addition to all that, to the heart stuff...
I feel like it's time to share more of my day to day stuff, like cooking, and kids stuff, and random things.
And about how I fail at all those things too. :)

I know I glean a lot from others when they share it and bare it ALL.
Life, y'all.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart lately about my identity.
like, a LOT about that.
And about how in my deep desire to be "known"...
I AM fully known my Him.
And that that's all that really matters.

But He is also showing me there is a time and place for others to really KNOW me too.
And that will come in His time, in His way and His places.

I don't know if this is all making sense.

I just feel such a leading, almost an overwhelming urgency to share more of me...
to share more of HIS story in me.

...and I feel like it's a new season covered with a new grace to do it.
That the energy and time will fall into place.

I honestly am looking forward to this chapter in my heart and in my blogging.
He has spoken some prophetic things to me recently that I know apply to this new season...
this "being known" season.

So my prayer would be that if you want to, you would hang with me here.
Let's get to know each other better and do this life as we should.

"The Wide Spectrum of Mothering"

(this is the best pic we got of the three of us...hands in their mouths, but hey, at least we are color coordinated!)

- - - - - - - - - -

I saw a friend post this on Mother's Day and I thought it was so beautiful, so had to share it here. Just some meaningful words about the different mother hearts out there...I hope it will move you like it did me.

- - - - - - - - - -

"The Wide Spectrum of Mothering"

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you.

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you. 

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food

stains – we appreciate you. 

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we

mourn with you. 

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and

disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t

mean to make this harder than it is. 

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you.

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you. 

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit

with you. 

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you. 

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your

experience. 

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of

motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst. 

To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day. 

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be. 

To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths. 

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be - we

grieve with you. 

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you.

To those who placed children up for adoption – we commend you for your selflessness and

remember how you hold that child in your heart. 

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate

with you .

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. 

Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have

real warriors in our midst. 

We remember you.

BY: Amy Young