being capable, tough mothering, turkey day, asking for help, jumping in leaves, and His goodness.

heeeeeey.

It's been a bit.
Honestly I've been just trying to stay afloat with life, with all aspects of it...
pregnancy, tough mothering, marriage, money, housework, God.
Anyone ever have those days where they just feel like,
"wow, this is a LOT." ?

Funny because I think there's this weird stigma that as a SAHM and housewife, that you can't really have a reason to be overwhelmed. (whole nother topic, yall).
BUT I am here to say that for me...it's becoming perfectly okay with me to admit to myself and others that life can be super overwhelming.
This season many of us are in of raising littles (and growing them in our bellies) is no joke.
It is constant and consuming in every sense of the word...physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

God's been working a LOT on me lately, and I am so thankful for that.
Lots of changes going on around here in regards to all those important topics listed above.
Seriously, all of them.
From making marriage a bigger priority (hard to do when you dont get much adult convo time), to learning to discipline without losing my cool, to planning (and actually sticking to) a budget..
it's a lot.

But through HIM, I am CAPABLE.
I feel like I've said this before, maybe even in my last post? lol.
I guess that's because it is the theme, the running thread God has for me right now.
That I am a capable woman, wife, and mother.

And let me explain a little more about that "capable" word.
That doesnt mean that I will have it all together or do it perfectly.
In one day, or even moment, it may mean that I handled one thing just how I needed to,
but in the other moment? it may mean that I am capable of receiving grace for messing up.
It's a comforting word, not one of performance. Does that make sense?

So while my mind has searched and stretched a lot for total peace lately, my faith in His goodness truly hasnt wavered.
I will plant there, root down there. In His goodness.
Because here's the deal, if I first and foremost understand His character as being good,
then all the rest can fall into place without hesitation of my trust in Him.
When I mess up, I can know that His character and thoughts towards me are good and not get stuck on feeling, well, incapable.
His goodness = His love towards me = security = rest for my mind = peace
and peace = ability to do what is before me without fear.

As I have heard said before from some dear people...
If you don't have your top button buttoned first, then all the rest get out of whack, out of order, right?
Imagine that understanding God's goodness is like having the top button of your shirt buttoned.
If you dont have that part done first, it's tough to go on and be at peace.

So my prayer in all this is to understand the true nature of God, which is that HE IS GOOD.
To be reminded that because of WHO He is, I can be WHO I am designed to be.
Filled, capable, blessed, loved.

Praying you too will start to hear new revelation in your life and heart about His goodness and how it truly affects everything.
Blessings y'all.

- - - - - - - - -

AND here's our life lately in pics (including a few ~~tiny blog posts~~ captions)

our sweet Bethany, all ready for Turkey Day!

Speaking of Thanksgiving, due to finances being crazy this time of year, as well as me being worn out so easily right now, we decided to stay at home in Oklahoma for the holiday.
We usually travel to Dallas to see all the family, so it was a tough decision.
But it turned out perfect really.
I made our entire meal for just the 4 (1/2) of us, and it was so much fun to do it all myself.
Now, I did not do a turkey or ham,..we had some les traditional grape-chili meatballs, some BBQ lil smokies, and some crock pout chicken and gravy...but I did make potatoes, green been casserole, my own cranberry sause, etc. And even some pumpkin cheesecake.
It was simple but yummy.
Parker and I said to each other that while we missed the fun bustling of 25 people eating together, we really enjoyed the simplicity of celebrating as just our little family.
It was sweet.

(PS this cranberry sauce was AMAZE and so easy.
Just a package of cranberries, a cup of orange juice, and a cup of sugar.
Boil til the cranberries burst and then let it cool. Sweet and yummy!

Putting up THE tree the morning after Thanksgiving was a beautiful time!
(although we still have some ornaments to add, but that seems to happening in a process!)

Don't be fooled by that selfie face-shot of me above.
My belly is HUGE.
I am 35 weeks today!!
Cannot believe he will be here so soon.
To say I am ready is an understatement almost as big as how I feel.

Last weekend, we met up with some sweet friends to watch a float parade go down the Oklahoma River! They lit up the floats and even Santa and his reindeer were a part.
Also they had fireworks, which was pretty awesome to not have to wait until July 4th. :)
These girlies have only hung a few times, but became fast friends...So blessed to know them.
Me and their mama, Kara Kae, have been friends for a few years though social media, but have finally been hanging out "in real life", and I love this girl!
She is a gem. If you don't already follow her you need to,
She blogs at Mom Diggity, and is the co-founder of an incredible ministry called Thrive Moms.

I really can't get over this perfect picture of my hot hubby and my mini-me.
Sweetness right there!

Oh, and we had like 10 days of Fall, literally, and then it snowed.
Which I LOVE, but we just werent quite prepared for!
But it was beautiful and so much fun.
(no snow since then, but it has stayed pretty darn cold here!)
Here's our little casa covered in snow!
Makes my heart happy.

and why NOT pull your neighbor BFF in her sled behind your pink Hummer?

and on to Bethany.
Sweet child has been rocking my world lately!
(both of my kids have really).
She is just a 90-to-nothing girl in ALL that she does.
I've spoken about it before (and about the book that is helping me).
And I don't know if there's just a sense she has that she is about to not be the baby anymore, or if thats even adding to it,
but to say she has been difficult is just the truth.
And my handling of her hasn't been the best.
I have yelled, repented, asked forgiveness, done it right...and then yelled again.
It's a learning process, yall.
Motherhood is teaching me a LOT about myself.
(again, whole nother topic for another day!).

But anyways, Bethany.
My sweet B.
She gives me a run for my money every. single. day.
But I have been finding some sweet in-between-the-drama moments that help her and me to make it through.
Naptimes are pretty much hell these days, but even in those hour-long battles, I am learning what works and what doesnt.
And remember that whole "capable" thing I talked about above?
I am giving myself lots of grace.
And trusting He will lead me in parenting.

And on the day where it just all seemed too much and I could really feel myself losing my cool/feeling totally overwhelemed as a mommy?
I did something I didn't want to do, but I knew I needed to...
I called my husband home from work in the middle of the afternoon.
He knew I needed him when he heard me in tears on the phone.
He came quickly, and sent me on my way to Starbucks.
Told me not to rush, not to do anything, just sit and rest myself.
(thank you honey, you are amazing)

I want to say this.
I am learning that IT IS OKAY to ask for help.
And for my deadline-ridden husband to drop it all and come help meant the world.
There are just moments we know as moms that we need to just get out for a minute.
(If you havent expereinced this yet, you probably will!)
It goes back to mothering and house-wifeing being all-comsuming in all ways.
So when the fire gets lit in us that we need a little water thrown on,
we need to ask for help before it burns us.

And go get ourselves a gingerbread latte and a brownie.

on a lighter note, (since that snow you saw above is gone and now all the leaves are falling),
the kiddos have had fun playing with neighbors in the leaves.
And yep. that is sweet Kenton (B's soul-twin that lives next door) tossing a pile right into Bethany's face.
But dont you worry...she threw one right back!
those two, right Pascha?!