why I'll be lighting a candle tonight...

This day is important.
Most of y'all know my story, and know that I am not shy about sharing it.
Actually, one of the main reasons I started this blog a few years ago was to share this part of my journey...
to share about my first miscarriage.

I had felt a need to "get it out" but didn't really know who to talk to. 
I hadn't really had any friends who had been through it, or if they had, I didn't know it.
Might sound crazy to you to share such a personal loss online,
but honestly it was like a healing tool for me.
And the support and love from the blogging community, as well as from "real life" friends,
 that followed has been irreplaceable.
I'm glad I shared it. It helped me heal.

/ thank you /

And I'm glad I had a place here to share about our second loss, in February, which happened just 4 weeks after my Dad died. 
It was a shock to my heart and took a while to even process.
Honestly, I still am.

(this is our second little peanut, before she went Home...)

 photo baby3pic4.jpg

And then again, just over 3 months ago as I suffered through
and some crazy health scares stemming from that...
I had the support of this community, and many family and friends.

/ thank you /

(here's our third little angel, we believe was a boy)

 photo mis5.jpg

MANY, many women have been through this pain, ARE going through this pain right now.
And you may not even know about it.
It's not something that everyone feels like sharing and that's totally okay.

Here's my encouragement today, to all of us...
if you know a mama who has been or is going through the loss of a baby...
ask yourself and the Lord how you can be a blessing and support to them.

I think a lot of us consider grieving a miscarriage as kindof a "quiet" grief.
It's not talked about like other losses.
But it should be.
These Mamas (AND Daddies) need some extra love during this time.

If you or someone you know is going through this, or has been,
please let me know how I can encourage and pray for them.
While my heart still aches and misses the little ones I only knew in my belly,
and while my mind still hurts over the trauma of losing each one...
I feel God's goodness in it.
Because HE is good, even when I can't understand it.
It's His character, so I have to trust it.
His heart for me is big.

And His heart for you is big too, Mama.
Allow yourself some tears, some yelling, some me-time, and some rest.
He will be with you.
He is holding your sweet baby right now...and there's no better place to be than in the arms of Jesus.

praying for all you today who I know have been there.

- - - - - - - - - -

TONIGHT, at 7 PM (in each time zone), there will be a wave of candles lit,
to remember our little babies who will live always in our hearts.
Join me.

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