another loss, & finding hope

Last night, Parker's Grandmom passed away, which was pretty unexpected.

(she was almost 90 and had leg surgery last week, which she never really recovered from). Really, it was just God's time for her to go Home.

We are thankful she did not suffer long but will miss her.

But we know she is dancing right now with Parker's Grandad, who went Home before her many years ago.

It's weird, because loss had already been on my mind a lot this week.

Just processing in my head about how to deal with it, how to think about it...

and remembering losses we have experienced.

Like for some reason this week,

I thought a lot about the little soul we lost in my miscarriage.

I thought a lot about Steve's sudden death (Parker's Dad...we lost him 3 years ago).

And I thought about how awesome it is that they get to play together, and how amazing it will be to see them both someday.

I've thought about Parker's godfather (Steve's best friend) who we lost this year.

I even came across a blessing this week that he wrote for Abigail on her 1st birthday.

I also thought a lot about friends who have had losses.

Several friends who have recently lost the dream of having a baby.

Others who have lost children and family members recently.

Some who are fearing loss as they deal with family disease.

And about my own Grandmom, who is in hospice and is miserable.

I am amazed that though my mind can't wrap around the reasons, the timing, the suffering...

for some reason I can find peace.

I guess it's cause I know Jesus and I believe HE is the author.

Of life AND of death.

And that He tells us that when we grieve, we can grieve with hope.

(1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

wow so many thoughts here swirling around in my head, and I certainly don't have any answers.

I guess I just needed to start a conversation with myself here about grief and loss and finding peace and hope in the midst of it.

Just processing out loud.

I am thankful for each day not promised, and in a way I am thankful when loss does happen, because it reminds me...

that I am NOT guaranteed another day or even another 5 minutes.

This life is fragile. It is important. It is HIS.

And I want to see it that way better, more often.

When we believe what He says is true,

that HE holds all things together,

that he knew our days before we were formed,

that He loves us...

then. THEN. we can have hope and find peace.

Today in the midst of loss, I am finding peace and joy in watching my little girl dance for her Jesus.

I know it may not move you like it does us as her parents,

but I think there is just something so beautifully hopeful about a little child worshipping.

(she does this every morning and every night, at her request.

God has made her a little worshipper!)

Thanks for listening, y'all, to me process.

Please let me know how I can pray for you right now if you are experiencing any kind of loss.

Seriously, I want to.

Hope your weekend is blessed.

love you all.