not in the limelight . . .

Sometimes when I am nursing Bethany at 1:00 AM, at 3:00 AM,

(and so on...)

I think to myself,

"If only people knew how much of myself I give as a mommy."

I really don't need or even want the recognition.

I think it's just a human, fleshly response to desire acknowledgement for

enduring whatever journey or job God has laid before us.

But I don't want to live in that human reaction

to doing what God has put before me to do.

I want to just do it, easy or hard.

and for HIS recognition to be all I need.

and to take pleasure in just doing it.

Don't get me wrong,

i take such JOY in making the daily and nightly

sacrifices I have to make

in my job as a mother.

But the minute I start needing recognition for the job placed before me,

is when I need HIM the most.

HIS love, HIS approval...

things man cannot give.

one of my favorite pieces of poetry was given to me

when I worked as a camp counselor years ago.

I don't remember the whole thing, but the part I remember is the important part.

"You know Lord, how I serve you

with great emotional ferver

in the limelight...

But how would I react, I wonder,

if You pointed to a basin of water

And asked me to wash the callused feet

of a beat and wrinkled old woman.

Day after day,

Month after Month,

In a room where nobody saw

And nobody knew.

whew.

those words have always stuck with me.

how WOULD I react, how DO I react,

when God asks me to do something that noone sees or knows about,

that no other human can acknowledge my work in.

does my pride take over and desire that recognition?

yep, it does... A lot of the time.

I want to tell people of my accomplishment,

of my hard work, of my sacrifice.

And sometimes there is a time and place to do that.

But usually with the hard stuff, it IS in a room

"where nobody sees".

Giving my pride up to the Lord, day by day (and night by night...)

to do what is set before me to do.

for HIS glory, not for my own.

linking up and sharing hearts

1 Year Blogiversary - Giveaway!!

1 year ago today,

I started this little blog as a way to keep up with family and friends...

to share our life and what God was up to.

(read my very first post here)

I had read maybe 2-3 blogs, maybe 2-3 times ever.

When this started, I had NO idea how much a part of my life it would become,

and how much I would be blessed by it.

I am truly truly blessed to be

part of the blogging community

that God has introduced me to.

Seriously, I have "met" other ladies through this blog that have become true friends,

and I have been impacted so greatly by the hearts that are shared here.

My little family has grown a lot in the last year...

so i feel like I've shared a lot with you through this blog.

{read some of my most-read posts from the last year here}

I want to say THANK YOU today.

Thanks to you who have kept up with our life through this little blog,

Thanks to you who I have never met or talked to but

read my little story here.

Thanks to those who just pop in every once in a while to catch up.

Thanks to my bloggy friends who I treasure so dearly...

you mean a lot to me.

I thank you because this blesses me...this little blog.

I am daily encouraged by other bloggers, readers, and friends,

and I literally had NO idea how much I would value the LIFE that this blog has brought me...

through my own sharing, and through the sharing of others.

SO to thank you...

I have a lovely necklace to give you,

from one of my favorite girls!

{who I get to meet in real life next month - yippee!}

Ashley from The Shine Project makes these cute necklaces,

and I thought what better way to say thank you for encouraging me

through this first year of blogging, than to pass on a "Shine" necklace to you!!

{and it benefits her precious project too!}

I have one myself and love it!

and i love that it says SHINE on it...

such a good reminder to let yourself be who God made you to be,

to shine in this world, no matter how you do it.

{oh and PS Ill be wearing mine to this event - you should come if you're in Dallas!}

to enter this giveaway:

mandatory:

1. be a follower of my blog (and leave a comment that you are!)

2. leave a comment to this post (about anything!)

additional:

1. follow Ashley at The Shine Project

2. tweet, FB or blog about this special giveaway

(=1 comment for each)

*leave a comment for each entry!*

closes Wednesday night, winner announced on Thursday!

so

THANK YOU, thank you.

from the bottom of my heart,

for making this blogging experience an amazing one, and

for adding so much to my life.

love yall. :)

{linking up here for Life Made Lovely Monday...

because this blog has added SO much lovely to my life!!}

bef frens

the other day, Abigail hugged Bethany and said

"Bef Frens"

(Best Friends)

and yes, my heart did melt.

I am so excited to be raising sisters,

and I look so forward to what lies ahead with these two bef frens!

postpartumness

When I went through my Postpartum Doula training a few years ago,

they had us fill out this drawing according to

what we had learned/what we knew

about what a freshly-postpartum mama is experiencing.

It pretty much sums it all up.

I like to call it "Postpartumness":

and It's no joke.

If you've given birth (no matter how), you'll know what I'm talking about.

and what I mean when I say

this little drawing could be me right now...

Two weeks out from giving birth

and settling in to the adjustment of being a new mama (of two),

and also dealing with all that comes with my post-partum body.

ugh.

I'm not really trying to vent in this post,

Just being real about where I'm at...

because all these things that are affecting my body physically,

are affecting me in every way: emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

but Thankfully God's grace

is getting me through each day.

Don't get me wrong, it's all TOTALLY worth it...

I just wanted to shed some light and give a little

well-deserved recognition to

this little-talked-about postpartumness

that every new mama experiences.

We don't just deliver a baby and then magically

feel like a beautiful, energetic new mommy.

I wish someone had told me about some of this stuff before I had my first,

(though i don't want to scare any new expectant mamas!)

This is just reality. My reality, anyways.

You might recognize a few of the "symptoms" on this little mama.

things I'm currently experiencing:

complete exhaustion

bad headaches from the exhaustion

dehydration from nursing all darn day (and night)

sore nipples (ouch!)

bleeding from afterbirth

afterpains (post-delivery contractions) just stopped a few days ago,

but they were very painful this time.

tummy troubles from the event my body went through

my hips are killing me from laboring so hard and from delivery

Doesn't that make you want to push out a baby?

haha sorry.. I'm just keeping it real today. :)

and if you've been there, you KNOW what I mean,

and I want to publicly say to you: YOU GO MAMA!!

It should be acknowledged that what you went through in pregnancy, labor, and delivery

was no joke, and that your body took a beating.

But one that was worth it in every way.

This is part of the reason why I became a Postpartum Doula...

Because new mommies need a lot more support than they realize.

I haven't worked as one since we moved, but hope to again one day.

One thing you can do, if you are not on the birthing end of this little drawing,

(if you're the spouse, the friend, the sister, the mom)

is to remember what this woman in your life just went through,

that her body just grew and birthed a tiny person.

and THAT is no small feat.

I was blessed with family that came to help and friends who made meals,

an amazing birth doula,

and a husband who was there through everything.

(oh, and he brought me some much needed wine last night - the brand was even called "Mommy Juice"! :) props to him!)

THANK YOU to those who have been loving on me a little extra after this birth.

So remember to love on that new mama in your life

a little extra too.

She's going through a lot.

Like I said, postpartum reality is no joke.

But like I also said...

it is oh so totally worth it.

2 week love

Cannot believe it's been 2 weeks

since we welcomed this precious princess into our lives and hearts.

Happy 2 weeks sweet Bethany.

I love you so much.

That's what I'm loving today...

what about you?

link up here: