being capable, tough mothering, turkey day, asking for help, jumping in leaves, and His goodness.

heeeeeey.


It's been a bit. 
Honestly I've been just trying to stay afloat with life, with all aspects of it...
pregnancy, tough mothering, marriage, money, housework, God.
Anyone ever have those days where they just feel like,
"wow, this is a LOT." ?

Funny because I think there's this weird stigma that as a SAHM and housewife, that you can't really have a reason to be overwhelmed. (whole nother topic, yall).
BUT I am here to say that for me...it's becoming perfectly okay with me to admit to myself and others that life can be super overwhelming.
This season many of us are in of raising littles (and growing them in our bellies) is no joke.
It is constant and consuming in every sense of the word...physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

God's been working a LOT on me lately, and I am so thankful for that.
Lots of changes going on around here in regards to all those important topics listed above.
Seriously, all of them.
From making marriage a bigger priority (hard to do when you dont get much adult convo time), to learning to discipline without losing my cool, to planning (and actually sticking to) a budget..
it's a lot.

But through HIM, I am CAPABLE.
I feel like I've said this before, maybe even in my last post? lol.
I guess that's because it is the theme, the running thread God has for me right now.
That I am a capable woman, wife, and mother.

And let me explain a little more about that "capable" word.
That doesnt mean that I will have it all together or do it perfectly.
In one day, or even moment, it may mean that I handled one thing just how I needed to,
but in the other moment? it may mean that I am capable of receiving grace for messing up.
It's a comforting word, not one of performance. Does that make sense?

So while my mind has searched and stretched a lot for total peace lately, my faith in His goodness truly hasnt wavered.
I will plant there, root down there. In His goodness.
Because here's the deal, if I first and foremost understand His character as being good,
then all the rest can fall into place without hesitation of my trust in Him.
When I mess up, I can know that His character and thoughts towards me are good and not get stuck on feeling, well, incapable.
His goodness = His love towards me = security = rest for my mind = peace
and peace = ability to do what is before me without fear.

As I have heard said before from some dear people...
If you don't have your top button buttoned first, then all the rest get out of whack, out of order, right?
Imagine that understanding God's goodness is like having the top button of your shirt buttoned.
If you dont have that part done first, it's tough to go on and be at peace.

So my prayer in all this is to understand the true nature of God, which is that HE IS GOOD.
To be reminded that because of WHO He is, I can be WHO I am designed to be.
Filled, capable, blessed, loved.

Praying you too will start to hear new revelation in your life and heart about His goodness and how it truly affects everything.
Blessings y'all.

- - - - - - - - -

AND here's our life lately in pics (including a few tiny blog posts captions)
 

our sweet Bethany, all ready for Turkey Day!


Speaking of Thanksgiving, due to finances being crazy this time of year, as well as me being worn out so easily right now, we decided to stay at home in Oklahoma for the holiday.
We usually travel to Dallas to see all the family, so it was a tough decision.
But it turned out perfect really.
I made our entire meal for just the 4 (1/2) of us, and it was so much fun to do it all myself.
Now, I did not do a turkey or ham,..we had some les traditional grape-chili meatballs, some BBQ lil smokies, and some crock pout chicken and gravy...but I did make potatoes, green been casserole, my own cranberry sause, etc. And even some pumpkin cheesecake.
It was simple but yummy.
Parker and I said to each other that while we missed the fun bustling of 25 people eating together, we really enjoyed the simplicity of celebrating as just our little family.
It was sweet.

(PS this cranberry sauce was AMAZE and so easy. 
Just a package of cranberries, a cup of orange juice, and a cup of sugar. 
Boil til the cranberries burst and then let it cool. Sweet and yummy!


Putting up THE tree the morning after Thanksgiving was a beautiful time!
(although we still have some ornaments to add, but that seems to happening in a process!)


Don't be fooled by that selfie face-shot of me above.
My belly is HUGE.
I am 35 weeks today!!
Cannot believe he will be here so soon.
To say I am ready is an understatement almost as big as how I feel.


Last weekend, we met up with some sweet friends to watch a float parade go down the Oklahoma River! They lit up the floats and even Santa and his reindeer were a part.
Also they had fireworks, which was pretty awesome to not have to wait until July 4th. :)
These girlies have only hung a few times, but became fast friends...So blessed to know them.
Me and their mama, Kara Kae, have been friends for a few years though social media, but have finally been hanging out "in real life", and I love this girl!
She is a gem. If you don't already follow her you need to,
She blogs at Mom Diggity, and is the co-founder of an incredible ministry called Thrive Moms.


I really can't get over this perfect picture of my hot hubby and my mini-me.
Sweetness right there!


Oh, and we had like 10 days of Fall, literally, and then it snowed.
Which I LOVE, but we just werent quite prepared for!
But it was beautiful and so much fun.
(no snow since then, but it has stayed pretty darn cold here!)
Here's our little casa covered in snow!
Makes my heart happy.


and why NOT pull your neighbor BFF in her sled behind your pink Hummer?


and on to Bethany.
Sweet child has been rocking my world lately!
(both of my kids have really).
She is just a 90-to-nothing girl in ALL that she does.
I've spoken about it before (and about the book that is helping me).
And I don't know if there's just a sense she has that she is about to not be the baby anymore, or if thats even adding to it,
but to say she has been difficult is just the truth.
And my handling of her hasn't been the best.
I have yelled, repented, asked forgiveness, done it right...and then yelled again.
It's a learning process, yall.
Motherhood is teaching me a LOT about myself.
(again, whole nother topic for another day!).

But anyways, Bethany.
My sweet B.
She gives me a run for my money every. single. day.
But I have been finding some sweet in-between-the-drama moments that help her and me to make it through.
Naptimes are pretty much hell these days, but even in those hour-long battles, I am learning what works and what doesnt.
And remember that whole "capable" thing I talked about above?
I am giving myself lots of grace.
And trusting He will lead me in parenting.


And on the day where it just all seemed too much and I could really feel myself losing my cool/feeling totally overwhelemed as a mommy?
I did something I didn't want to do, but I knew I needed to...
I called my husband home from work in the middle of the afternoon.
He knew I needed him when he heard me in tears on the phone.
He came quickly, and sent me on my way to Starbucks.
Told me not to rush, not to do anything, just sit and rest myself.
(thank you honey, you are amazing)

I want to say this.
I am learning that IT IS OKAY to ask for help.
And for my deadline-ridden husband to drop it all and come help meant the world.
There are just moments we know as moms that we need to just get out for a minute.
(If you havent expereinced this yet, you probably will!)
It goes back to mothering and house-wifeing being all-comsuming in all ways.
So when the fire gets lit in us that we need a little water thrown on,
we need to ask for help before it burns us.

And go get ourselves a gingerbread latte and a brownie.


on a lighter note, (since that snow you saw above is gone and now all the leaves are falling),
the kiddos have had fun playing with neighbors in the leaves.
And yep. that is sweet Kenton (B's soul-twin that lives next door) tossing a pile right into Bethany's face.
But dont you worry...she threw one right back!
those two, right Pascha?!


And yes, that is our neighbor Carter getting leaves out of all the kids' hair.
With a blower.
Hey it worked well and was kinda fun!

 

And that night, Parker made our second annual Big Pile O' Leaves, and all the kids ran and jumped and hid and were thrown into it 
all night long.
Sweet memories!!
(thankful for you neighbors!)


- - - - - - - - 

Thanks for reading yall.
You rock and I look forward to sharing more of what's on my heart real soon.
Happy Friday!

all. the. things. (my brain today)

...so many things on the brain and the heart.
I gotta start somewhere, right?

(and just forgive the bluntness of this post..I'm just writing as I go.)
I just have so much that I mull over daily about what I'd like to blog about, but then sitting down to do it seems daunting for some reason.
But not right now...because I just realized "why? why does it have to be all neat and pretty in a package or a certain topic each time I write?"
(and by "each time" i obviously mean like every 2-3 weeks, lol)

no but really...I think there is a great aspect to blogging and writing for yourself, in that you can make your own rules.
And if there's a million "all the things" spinning round in your wound-up pregnant brain,
then by all means, share all the things, no?

so here ya go. :)
a little bit (well a few bits) of my heart and mind lately.
just go with it, mmmkay?

I am uncomfortable and so physically tired.
I LOVE being pregnant and I love this sweet baby we prayed for for so long,
but gosh my body is worn out!
I know its party because I have a 2 and a 4 year old to mother at the same time,
but also I think just having had so many pregnancies at this point, my body is like "woah"!
But here I sit with only 8 1/2 weeks to go and I know it'll all be worth it when we hold our baby boy.
I keep telling people that I honestly think I might feel better and less tired when he is actually here!
I know that sounds crazy (and you moms of newborns can whip my brain back into reality)...but I just personally don't do well with being physically uncomfortable and think I will prob feel so much better when I don't have 30+ pounds hanging on the front of me.
so there's that.


and on that note...EIGHT AND A HALF WEEKS LEFT.
Whaaaaat?! How did this happen so fast, y'all?
I feel like I was just announcing it and here we are so close!!
I have a weird inner-feeling that he is coming early. Not TOO early, maybe just a week or so.
Watch. he'll prob come on Bethany's birthday, Jan 4th. (I am due Jan 9th)
Both my girls came the day before the were due, so we'll see.
So ready for him to be here and our little family to have another sweet one to love on!

Mothering. (big sigh).
Mothering lately.
Not just the pregnancy thing making it more difficult, but I feel like both my girls are just in a tough season lately. Both are more whiney and more demanding.
Thus is life with a 2 and 4 year old though, right?
I think part of it is that Abigail is just growing so much and kindof starting to figure out things that are really important to her in her days, and I am learning to adjust/plan for those things.
I love figuring out what nurtures her gifts and abilities best, though it seems to be a little tough at times if I don' get it "just right". It's neat to see her grow though.
And Bethany, my sweet B. 
Let's just say I have been reading "Raising Your Spirited Child"...and learning a WHOLE lot. :)
(that's DEF a post to come, maybe even a series, lol)
She is my refiner that's for sure. but I also love learning how to nurture the ways God has made her different than her big sister. This book is teaching me a TON.
Really overall, I have just needed a lot of grace in my mothering lately.
I have had to repent to them both and ask forgiveness for my impatience with them, more often than I wish.
But you know what? I am glad for the chance (as much as it doesn't feel good to me) to teach them that even Mama can't do it all in her own strength. That even Mama messes up. That Mama needs Jesus too.
One day at a time, y'all, one day at a time. :)


Community.
On a different note, the Lord has been bringing us community that we have prayed for here in Norman.
Seems like we had to wait a while, but now we see why...it was for just the right group, at just the right time, without us even initiating it ourselves.  I love when God works like that, even though it requires waiting. Makes you realize HIS timings really are worth the wait.
So we have started meeting weekly with this new lifegroup, and I can already tell God is going to move big in it. I can't wait and am so delighted about it. Thank you Lord for rich fellowship!

Holy Spirit stuff.
(that's what I'm gonna call it)
I've gotten to have some good/interesting discussions lately with friends who are seeking out what "more of the Holy Spirit" means. 
People that are in the middle of some pretty awesome realizations that there is more to the Lord than what they have always known. 
That there is so much He offers to us as His children...and that there is NO need to be afraid of it any longer.
A large-church pastor in Dallas recently made a video basically stating the opposite of what we believe...
and not just what we believe, but what we have actually experienced and even OFTEN experience as Biblical works of the Holy Spirit. 
It grieved my heart so much because we know so many who hang on every word this man says. (which in itself is a problem, just sayin.) 
Anyways, it sparked some discussion and some really great thoughts about this matter.
Parker and I have been walking this road of seeing miraculous things and hearing prohetic things, etc for a long time now and are so happy to see others we know start to experience it too, as they break out of the box that "religion" has put God in.
If you know our story, and some of the testimonies I have even shared here on my blog...and if you know us...then hopefully you can see that God REALLY is that powerful. That he cannot be put in a box.
Or else a lot of my life and my story must be a lie, right? 
But instead, it's truth,  and it's founded in the love of a really good Father.
Also, it's pretty amazing to see people get healed and have prophetic words spoken over their life, when they least expect it! ha!
Yay, God!

hmmm. what else?
I guess that's all for now.
Just a few (long) tid-bits on the brain today
No real conclusuon, no real point, just sharing my life with you.
Thanks for listening!

Hope yall have a great Monday and start of the week...
now off to prepare for the Arctic blast.



because of Parker.

because of him...

I trust God more.
I dream more.
I love better.
I am a better mom.
I am challenged to pursue all God made me to be.
I watch his example.
I am becoming more organized. (he might debate that one)
I love to talk for hours.
I am realizing the potential I have.
I am more confident.


because of him...

They know how much they are loved.
They feel secure.
They anticipate time together.
They love others well.
They have compassion for others like he does.
They rest peacefully at night.
They feel safe in every way.
They love bluegrass music. :)
They love the outdoors.
They know their Heavenly Father's love.


because of him...

Others feel blessed.
Others do not feel judged.
Others are accepted for exactly who they are.
Others are given to, in many ways.
Others are discipled and led.
Others have a better understanding of their Heavenly Father.
Others receive healing.
Others learn to hear the Lord.
Others are loved well.
Others know what a true brother and friend is.


because of him...

I can see the goodness of God in ways I never knew I could.
And our girls can too.
And others in his life.

Parker, we are truly blessed because of you.
Happy Birthday, my love.