a friend's journey from loss . . .

I have a VERY special guest post for you...

from one of my real-life best friends,

Jessi.

{she blogs here}.

She is a momma, a military wife,

and a treasure of a friend.

And she is sharing her precious story of loss with us today.

{these are our two littles..cute couple huh?}

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No one can ever describe to you what it feels like to be a mother.

Finding out you're pregnant you already love that baby more than your own life.

You do everything you can to help your baby grow and thank God every day for such a blessing! And then you give birth and suddenly that love you thought

you felt becomes overwhelming.

Its a love that almost makes you understand God's love for us.

No one can ever describe what it feels like to lose a child.

I have two children.

Caden we get to see and hug and kiss every single day.

And Christian, God chose to bring home early.

At 21 weeks Christian's heart stopped and so did mine.

At least it felt like it did.

I think the pain is worse when you have a child already because

you know exactly what you're missing.

And at the same time easier to handle because you have a little one to hold tighter

and thank God for even more.

And there's not a lot of room for depression when a little voice says

"I love you mommy".

I could go into the details of how it happened,

and why it's difficult for us to have more children...but none of that matters.

Because whether we are able to have more, are called to adopt,

or only raise Caden...

it will be what God had planned.

pictures done for "The Mama Project" by photographer Jessica Flynn

It's been a year since we lost our sweet baby Christian.

And where I'm at now is more trusting and faithful in the Lord than I ever thought possible.

I know God has been with me because otherwise I would be afraid.

and fear does not come from the Lord.

"I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.

And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.

So don’t be troubled or afraid."

John 14:27

It is not at all easy to just trust in His plan.

But it is freeing to do it. It takes the weight off my shoulders.

Giving Him my burdens and knowing that His plans for me are perfect even when I dont understand them.

I will not be troubled or afraid.


I miss Christian deeply.

But there is no place for pain when I know he is with God.

There is no better place. Not even here with us.

So instead I REJOICE that God trusted us to LOVE him even for such a brief time.

I do not understand why he was taken so soon but I do know that

"God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

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THANKS JESSI,

for opening your heart and your story.

I miss Christian with you

and know that he is fulfilling his purposes in Heaven right now.

{our families...}

and make sure you go check out Jessi, and all that she shares on her blog...

she is a crafting, organizing, homeschooling mama,who loves Jesus and loves her role as a wife and mother::

PS make sure you go enter this GIVEAWAY before tomorrow!

Blessings to you today friends...

a lovely Monday GIVEAWAY!

It's a LOVELY GIVEAWAY today!

{my little lovely modeling her bows from Blossom and Vine!}

I want to introduce you today to ALY...

If you don't already know her, read her blog, or shop her shop,

you should. :)

and she has a WONDERFUL giveaway for you today!

hi! i'm aly. i'm a work-from-home mom of a 2.5 year old daughter,

expecting another girl in february.

my handsome hubby and i are high school sweethearts and we've been married 6.5 years.

we live in southern california where he's a football coach and i do my best to try to keep the house clean.

i love Jesus, writing, singing, target, and i might be addicted to starbucks coffee.

i write at The Mommie Diaries and when i have extra time,

i make pretty things at my shop, Blossom and Vine.

my handmade business adventure actually started in 2009,

a few months after my daughter was born.

i started making headbands for her, and after too many people recommended

that I open an etsy shop and start selling stuff, i did!

i'm embarrassed to look back at some of the first things that i sold, but it evolved quickly and the business and my creativity grew.

that first year was such a blessing for our family.

while living with my inlaws for nine months, in the process of buying our house,

i was able to pay off our car, pay for some of the upgrades in our home

and a few other fun things.

the night before we moved into our new house, i closed up the etsy shop,

knowing that i wouldn't be able to manage a home and the 8pm-2am "workdays".

the break was nice, but i couldn't stay away.

so i started selling DIY tutorials of some of the designs i had sold in my shop.

eventually i began to make things again,

so i opened a new shop, Blossom & Vine.

it's stocked with ready-to-ship items:

headbands, clips/brooches,

and scripture prints are some of my favorite verses.

there's even a wreath and some hoop art.

when i have some time to make things, i do.

but i don't have to neglect my family and home to keep a business afloat.

it's perfect for this season of our lives. i absolutely love sending beautiful things off

to their new homes and love that i get to stay sane while doing so!

i still have the tutorial shop, and i call it

"Blossom & Vine DIY"

[in case you're the crafty type].

THANKS SO MUCH ALY!!!

The winner of this GIVEAWAY receives

a generous $30 SHOP CREDIT!!

To Enter::

you must be a follower of my blog {here}

you must be a follower of Aly's blog {here}

extra entries:

add Blossom and Vine's shop to your Favorites on Etsy {here}

follow Blossom and Vine on Twitter {here}

follow me on Twitter {here}

Tweet, FB, or Blog about this giveaway! (1 entry each)

LEAVE A COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY you make

{so, you could have up to 8 entries total!}

Giveaway ends on Wednesday...

Winner will be announced on Thursday November 17th !

Happy Giveaway-ing!

Have a lovely, lovely Monday,

link up here for more:

a few things to tell you!

hope yall are having a great Sunday!

{my little Diva sure is...}

just a few things to mention:

come back tomorrow for a lovely GIVEAWAY!

and check back in this week for some

powerful guest posts

by mamas who have experienced loss,

in honor of it being a year since ours.

I KNOW you will be blessed.

Also, are you planning to link up over here on Thursday?

because you should. :)

{check it out:}

OH! and PS... PictureLESS Post link-up

will be back next sunday, the 20th!

yay!

BE BLESSED TODAY!!

a prayer update, a winner, and a recipe!

First thing's first::

THANK YOU to those who have been praying

after I shared that my best friend's

daughter was being tested for some pretty serious stuff yesterday...

{read here}.

God answered and nothing serious showed up, no tumor or seizures.

still working on a reason for the symptoms.

but...we are PRAISING GOD!

NEXT:: a winner!

From the Picking Blueberries Giveaway...

(generated from Random.org)

RACHEL at Our Havenhill

email me girl!

and Lastly,

a simple Saturday Recipe...

a staple from growing up

(thanks Mom!)

SLOPPY JOES!!

what you need:

1 lb ground beef

1/2 cup chopped onion (or a little onion powder instead)

1 cup chopped celery

8 oz can tomato sauce

1 can tomato soup

1/2 tsp chili powder (or a little more if you'd like!)

Brown the ground beef,

adding the onion and celery to the meat before browning.

(we don't eat onion around here so i just use onion powder)

Drain off grease several times.

Add tomato sauce,

tomato soup,

and the chili powder.

(and some salt and pepper too!)

Simmer on low for about 20-30 minutes.

aaaaand...that's it!

see? simple!! :)

We put it on top of hamburger buns

(use whole wheat for healthier option)...

or you can eat it as a sandwich,

or top it with grated cheese

YALL have a fantastic weekend...

and COME BACK MONDAY

for another

LOVELY GIVEAWAY!!!

shaken.

You may or may not know this,

but Oklahoma experienced several large Earthquakes last weekend,

(the epicenter was about 40 miles from us)

the largest being on Saturday night at about 10:45 PM.

it was a 5.6 magnitude quake, and the night before's was a 4.7.

(oh, and we had another 4.7 on Monday night)

Being from Texas, I have NEVER experienced anything like that before.

The first one on Friday literally shook me awake in my bed.

And then Saturday night,

I was upstairs washing my face for bed and all of the sudden

the floor started shaking under me...

I felt so dizzy and had to hold on to the counter for fear of falling over.

I immediately checked the monitor to see that Abigail was still fast asleep,

and then ran downstairs where my hubby and mother-in-law were watching TV.

Everything was swaying and rattling, the ceiling fan swinging back and forth,

and this terrible deep rumble from the core of the earth was just vibrating in my ears.

so so scary.

My first thoughts were to gather my family,

to make a safe place for them,

to pray, to tell people it will all be okay,

to tell people that they can know a loving man named Jesus

and that He will meet all their needs when they are scared.

And I needed to remember that myself.

It was literally only a few minutes of shaking, nothing even fell,

no damage was done, noone was hurt.

But my emotions and my heart were

SHAKEN.

Im telling you,

it took that short amount of time to literally shake me into fear.

And lots of "what-ifs"...

What if this is a terrorist attack?

What if the Earth opens up underneath us?

What if our house falls down on us?

What if I can't protect my family?

What if this lasts forever?

What if I die?

What if my family dies?

What if I never see my daughter's precious face again?

God has continued to shake me this week,

physically and emotionally.

We have experienced earthquake aftershocks every day,

some cant be felt but some, like this morning,

make you draw in your breath a little.

and it hasn't just been the Earth shaking me...

A lot has happened since yesterday.

and yesterday wasn't easy to begin with.

{you can read yesterday's blog post here}

Waking up yesterday,

knowing it was the 1 year anniversary of my miscarriage,

was already difficult.

Then we received a call that one of my husband's friends from school

has lost his 10 -year-old son the night before,

due to an asthma attack.

just devastating.

I cannot believe we have to go to a funeral for someone so small this weekend.

I am heartbroken for their family.

*the little boy had a twin sister, please keep her in your prayers*

A few hours after that, my best friend from Dallas called me to

pray for her daughter

(she's just 2 months older than Abigail).

She was taking her into the pediatrician due to some weird symptoms going on.

She called me back an hour later to tell me they were being sent

to check for a possible brain tumor or a seizure disorder...

something not good.

All I could do with her was cry.

And pray.

*we are still waiting to hear the results this afternoon from the tests,

and are praying for a miracle or a dr's wrong assumption of what is wrong.

Please, please pray.*

All this to say,

(today I am just pouring out my heart to you,

just being real about where I'm at in this moment)

I have been shaken by fear, by earthquakes, by loss,

by the enemy's lies.

I had nightmare after nightmare last night, of losing Abigail.

It is my biggest fear in life,

as I know any mommy would say the same.

Thankfully the Lord woke me up at 4:30 AM

and all I could do was walk around my house rebuking fear

and telling it to go back to where it came from.

And claiming Jesus's victorious blood

over all these situations.

And praying for me to trust Him with it all.

To remember that He is in control,

That He Loves me more than I think.

Please join me in prayer for

my husband's friend who has lost his son,

that they will see the compassion of Jesus as people

gather around them tomorrow at the service.

And please pray for my best friend,

and their precious little girl,

as we wait for an answer and to see what God is going to do.

And pray for me, for yourself, for your loved ones,

that we would all remember and recognize

the ONE who IS in control.

...because He loves us.

sharing our hearts here today: