and I think I made a noise out loud to myself...something like "uuuughh.".
yep, I saw myself and realized how tired I looked.
I knew I felt it, but hadn't seen it on my face yet.
(I mean, let's be honest, you don't get a lot of "face time" in the mirror when you are a mommy)
after a long day of worshipping and playing as a family.
Plus, I have been battling a cold and allergies pretty bad all weekend
and honestly have been feeling pretty crappy.
(I actually don't even have a voice right now. :( )
And I think I've been ignoring the emotional exhaustion
that is trying to catch up with me
from the tough losses we have just been through.
Plus just the tired of daily life with two littles.
But 8:30 (or after bedtime, whenever that is each night),
is usually when I get going.
It's when I move into "go mode"...picking up the house, finishing dishes,
preparing lunches for the next day, folding the laundry, etc, etc.
I happened to read a tweet from Shauna Niequist (love her),
that said something like
"...one of the hardest things is listening when my body says it's tired."
And then I glanced back in the mirror and thought,
"ok body, I think you are telling me you are tired."
so, I did something that's usually hard for me to do...
I just let it all go.
The bed that remained unmade all day, the messy playroom, the unfolded laundry,
the dirty clothes, and on and on.
(oh hey, here's some pics of my reality last night...enjoy the mess.
no shame here. :-) )
I literally had to push laundry out of my way,
so I could lounge,
But that's what I did.
I let it all go for the night,
and I just SAT.
chatted with the hubbs, watched a little Mad Men, read a few blogs...
I need the rest.
I forget that sometimes...and I think mommies do that a lot.
It seems as though (at least for me) that our jobs are NEVER over.
And while I don't really mind that,
sometimes I just need to let the day be over, even with things "undone".
And to be okay with that.
And to not feel guilty for resting.
You know how on the plane, they tell you that if you are traveling with a child,
and if you have to,
to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then put it on the child next to you?
I often think that would be hard to do, to not help my little one before myself.
But last night...that's kind of what I had to do.
Give myself an oxygen mask, before I could do anything else.
In that mirror moment,
I saw that it was important for me to take care of myself last night,
to let the other tasks go, and to just sit and rest.
just do it.
Let the other things go if you can.
It really is ok.
and maybe your face in the mirror will thank you.
and your family probably will too.
they need a rested you.