a friend's journey from loss . . .

/
I have a VERY special guest post for you...
from one of my real-life best friends,
Jessi.

She is a momma, a military wife,
and a treasure of a friend.

And she is sharing her precious story of loss with us today.

{these are our two littles..cute couple huh?}
Photobucket

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No one can ever describe to you what it feels like to be a mother.
Finding out you're pregnant you already love that baby more than your own life.
You do everything you can to help your baby grow and thank God every day for such a blessing! And then you give birth and suddenly that love you thought
you felt becomes overwhelming.
Its a love that almost makes you understand God's love for us.

Photobucket

No one can ever describe what it feels like to lose a child.
I have two children.
Caden we get to see and hug and kiss every single day.
And Christian, God chose to bring home early.
At 21 weeks Christian's heart stopped and so did mine.
At least it felt like it did.

I think the pain is worse when you have a child already because
you know exactly what you're missing.
And at the same time easier to handle because you have a little one to hold tighter
and thank God for even more.
And there's not a lot of room for depression when a little voice says
"I love you mommy".

I could go into the details of how it happened,
and why it's difficult for us to have more children...but none of that matters.
Because whether we are able to have more, are called to adopt,
or only raise Caden...
it will be what God had planned.

Photobucket
pictures done for "The Mama Project" by photographer Jessica Flynn


It's been a year since we lost our sweet baby Christian.
And where I'm at now is more trusting and faithful in the Lord than I ever thought possible.
I know God has been with me because otherwise I would be afraid.
and fear does not come from the Lord.

"I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.
So don’t be troubled or afraid."
John 14:27

It is not at all easy to just trust in His plan.
But it is freeing to do it. It takes the weight off my shoulders.
Giving Him my burdens and knowing that His plans for me are perfect even when I dont understand them.
I will not be troubled or afraid.


I miss Christian deeply.
But there is no place for pain when I know he is with God.
There is no better place. Not even here with us.
So instead I REJOICE that God trusted us to LOVE him even for such a brief time.
I do not understand why he was taken so soon but I do know that
"God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THANKS JESSI,
for opening your heart and your story.
I miss Christian with you
and know that he is fulfilling his purposes in Heaven right now.

{our families...}
Photobucket

and make sure you go check out Jessi, and all that she shares on her blog...
she is a crafting, organizing, homeschooling mama,who loves Jesus and loves her role as a wife and mother::

Photobucket




PS make sure you go enter this GIVEAWAY before tomorrow!
Blessings to you today friends...


Photobucket